Mini-Rage and a Question

Lupron days six, seven and eight-so-far have been pretty uneventful. Other than the urge to fall asleep at 9:00 pm (which I’m sure the nurse would say has NOTHING to do with Lupron, since it isn’t a bona fide, package-insert-listed side effect), and the continued weight elevation (dancing around 203 currently… yes, I do hear you all screaming at me to quit weighing myself. But it’s a disease! I must know as much information as possible!), things are pretty okay.

I blew a gasket at effin’ Duke Energy, who has continued to automatically draft monthly payments from an account I no longer use, despite repeated requests to CUT IT THE EFF OUT. After canceling automated payments, I even went as far as to delete my account information and replace it with H’s account, so that if they did draft, it would come from his, but that didn’t work either. And their website has absolutely no information on how to officially cancel automated payments, AND has no information about how to reach a person via phone. They now swear to me (after an internet search revealed a customer service number) that there will never ever be another draft to my account. But I don’t really believe them.
Regardless, it felt good to have a rightful outlet for the rage that seems to be simmering just below the surface. And even though “mood changes” are a listed side effect, my nurse informed me that “taking these drugs for so short a time shouldn’t let enough of it build up in your system to cause any side effects”. Um, really? Then why am I taking this drug at all? It doesn’t make sense that I could take it at such a dose and for such a time so as to affect my ovaries, but not affect any other body system at all. I really need to set aside my frustrations with by-the-book medical care/diagnosis, because the more I deal with people who treat me as though I’m crazy, the more that feeling builds up and the more I’m likely to get defensive about it. And whether the nurse believes me or not, if she keeps up this kind of communication with me, she’ll quickly know the exact kind of “mood changes” Lupron can cause…
So I also have a question/request for you- a friend of mine has recently given birth quite early and quite unexpectedly (is it ever really expected, though?). Her son is in the NICU (a 30 weeker), and I know I’ve read countless blogs of women who have survived their NICU experience with their sanity mostly intact, but in looking through my blog list, it has either been too long or I have quit reading for other reasons, because I cannot for the life of me find any blogs of moms who have survived a NICU stay. If anyone has blog suggestions for me [I’ve got the big ones– So Close (Tertia), Flotsam and A Little Pregnant -I skip Mel’s blog, not because I don’t recognize that she’s a sane person, but because her blog is about information sharing/community building and less of a narrative about her personal story], I’d really appreciate it. She’s freaking out, as is perfectly normal given the situation, and she mentioned that she enjoys reading blogs, so I thought I’d send her a few links.
So. This Friday is my next appointment, where we will scan and do baseline blood work, and go through the big box o’ drugs and make a plan. I should in theory start my period today or tomorrow, but I’m doubtful about whether that will happen. I think that’s possibly a little early anyway, plus I hear that Lupron can cause some funkiness with cycles (though of COURSE that won’t happen with me because as we all know, Lupron for IVF does NOT cause side effects of any kind, right?), so we’ll see. As long as I start by Friday, it should be no problem, but I certainly wouldn’t put it past my uterus to get all pissy and decide not to follow that plan. Oh, well. These things, they are out of my control.
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10 Responses to Mini-Rage and a Question

  1. Sue says:

    I'm not sure your nurse understands how drugs are metabolized, but whatever. Lupron made me sleepy too – the best sleep I've ever had! Hope your menstrual cycle is compliant and makes a timely appearance. Good luck with moving on to the next series of injections!

  2. jill says:

    Re: the bill situation – can you set up something on the account so that all access to that company is denied? We had to do that a while back because auto bill pay for some places was still pulling from an old account (and caused that account to go over-draft because we had pulled most of the money from it). Grrr it was annoying.I hear you on dealing with medial personnel. All drs I go to must hate me because I'm so awkward/defensive in those situations now.It's funny, I thought I read a lot of blogs that had NICU stories but apparently I don't. The best one I know of is You probably know of that one – it obviously deals with many more issues than just NICU but that blogger did a wonderful, detailed job of describing the NICU experience and dealings with his micro-preemie daughter who was born in 2008.My heart goes out to your friend. I can't imagine the NICU is easy to deal with in even the most stable cases.

  3. jenn says:

    Aargh- your nurse is pissing ~me~ off & I have no added (non-side effect inducing, of course!) hormones coursing through. I'm so sorry for your friend- my heart goes out to her & I hope she can get through the NICU stay as easily as is possible given the situation. I don't have any blogs to share, just my good thoughts.

  4. "And whether the nurse believes me or not, if she keeps up this kind of communication with me, she'll quickly know the exact kind of 'mood changes' Lupron can cause…"OK, I think I love you. Will H mind?No words of wisdom for your friend but hope her LO will grow and thrive quickly. Well, one other blog does occur to me … Alexa @ Flotsam in Simone's early days.

  5. Ummm your nurse sounds like a dumbass. I'm sure she is a very lovely person and everything, but yeah…she's a dumbass. I tend to believe personal experiences, rather then what the doctors or nurses tell me what MIGHT happen. I'm glad you were able to release some of your rage. if you feel your rage bubbling up again, call them and yell at them again! Just randomly. That'll be ALL kinds of fun!*HUGS*

  6. Here are my suggestions for blogs that deal with NICU stays: This family is still in NICU limbo land but are hoping to be coming home with little Ella very soon, and if my memory serves me correctly, she was born around 30 weeks, too. at had twin girls last year and they spent quite a while in the NICU as well. Check back to the archives from October and November 2008 – there aren't a ton of posts, but definitely some. Those are all I got at the moment but if more pop into my head, I will let you know. Clearly, that nurse is an idiot. I've often had reactions to drugs that I am positive were side effects even though doctors or pharmacists swear they've never heard of such a thing. Of course you are going to get side effects from taking a drug as major as Lupron! Don't let her ignorance get you down – you know your body and you can tell when something is different. You are certainly not crazy!Well, maybe you are, but in only the absolute best way – you yellow-loving, smoothie-making, home-repair-undertaking, booty-shaking, joke-cracking, good-beer-and-wine-drinking, German-marrying philosopher runner genius gourmet cook, you!

  7. Tracy says:

    Here's a twin blog…the babies are now home: can be so frustrating.

  8. luxzia says:

    no good blogs to suggest other than fashion or street art…I'll scream at the universe for your cycle to show up on time. I scream at it all the time anyway – I might as well rail about something else. 🙂

  9. My period was a day late on the Lupron. It gave me weird dreams. Superhusband said my main side effect to all the drugs was that I was "softer, gentler, more lady like" – which I guess makes since because typically my estrogen is on the low side of normal.Sometimes I read when I need a good cry. Kate is a really good writer who had twins very very early – one made it, the other did not. Proceed w/ caution.

  10. strongblonde says:

    love the fact that the nurse doesn't think that anything at all is related to the lupron. that might be enough to push you over the edge :)xoxo

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