Suck, suck, suck

Yeah. Bad sucky drippy kind of day.

30+mm “follicle” seen during day 11 scan is still there, now only with a medium sized friend.
Yep. Ovarian cysts. And two of them, most likely functional (ie hormone producing) cysts, due to the fact that the period has not yet started.

I cried in the ultrasound room after they saw them, because I knew this would mean either a substantial delay, or an outright cancellation. And then I cried in the waiting room while waiting for Nurse That’s-Not-A-Side-Effect. And then I cried when she told me “worst case scenario, it’ll be a two week ‘delay'”. I guess she was avoiding using the word “cancellation”, but that’s what it is, when you stop taking drugs, and then have to start the whole shebang over again. And then I cried when Dr. Lolly showed up and wanted to speak with us just as we were leaving (and I was going to be able to get in the car and cry in peace). And then after I left, I cried some in the car. And I cried some in the Whole Foods Cafe while eating my muffin. And then I cried some more in the car. And now I’m sitting here, tearing up again.

So yeah. Excellent, excellent day.
Oh, and it is forecast to rain throughout the entire weekend in Charleston. So I get to sit in a Comfort Effin’ Inn, staring at the walls all day tomorrow and Sunday. Great.

I realize that this is “just” (god, I hate that word) a delay, but it makes me feel like they are ignoring some larger issue. I have had ovarian cysts all my life, only narrowly controlled by the Metformin. And I have a form of PCOS, and while these cysts may not be related to PCOS, it does make me more prone to forming them, especially when I take a drug like Lupron, which sends my hormones all crazy out of balance. I raised the concern with the Nurse That’s-Not-A-Side-Effect, and she felt like this was just a random one-off occurrence, that my past history of ovarian cysts and delicately balanced hormones had nothing to do with the fact that I formed one now. She told me that if the E2 test comes back high (and it will), then I am to quit taking the Lupron, wait for a full period and then start over. And then I cried harder.

Of course, I am kind of glad that Dr. Lolly caught us, because she told me to keep taking the Lupron and to come back in a week to see what has happened with the cyst, and check E2 levels again, and possibly aspirate the cyst at that point if E2 levels have dropped, at which point, we could begin stimming then. It gave me just a bit of hope that maybe -just maybe- I might not have to start this crazy Lupron shit all over again.

Ah. I know I wrote about it before, but I’ve been worried since the beginning of this cycle, because generally, the week before and week after my birthday are TOTAL. UTTER. SHIT. Every single year, there is some utter crap that happens surrounding my birthday. I think last year, I got wicked sick. And probably the year before that as well. Every year, some really unhappy situation presents itself during the two week period around the birthday (oh, and I have NEVER, as long as I have been a menstruator, NOT been on my period on my birthday), and I was feeling really nervous about doing this IVF cycle close to my birthday. Because there is apparently some grand cosmic force (in which I do not believe) that thinks that Sept. 17th-30th is just Fuck-With-Kate-Time. So naturally, I can’t say I was too surprised by this recent development.

So. Send shrinky thoughts this way for what shall from now be known as the Effin’ Cyst. Get thee gone, Effin’ Cyst. And GO AWAY Birthday Curse…
.

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12 Responses to Suck, suck, suck

  1. jenn says:

    NO!!! Bad, bad Effin Cyst- get thee gone!!!I'm so sorry Kate- what a sucky sucky tradition to have for your birthday. I want this to be the one that changes the curse & you get some good news with your next scan & don't have to repeat the whole Lupron fiasco all over again!

  2. Tracy says:

    Ok, TRY to think positive. My first cycle, I had a cyst (also a functional cyst) and it totally went away. I can't remember exactly, but I believe we had a slight delay as well, but it was really no biggie. I know it's hard to think that way when you're undergoing a cycle. The time just tick-tick-ticks so slowly, it seems.My second cycle they changed my protocol to a ganirelex (sp?) protocol instead of lupron, so they do have other options if it even comes to that. You hang in there!!!

  3. Sue says:

    I'm sorry – definitely not what you needed for your birthday. I've had cysts and my donor had cysts, so hopefully this is just a delay and nothing more than that. I know it's frustrating and I'm sorry it made you cry. Hang in there and I hope you manage to have some fun this weekend in spite of the rain.

  4. Shinejil says:

    Sending my most withering anti-cyst thoughts at you. I sorry things have started off so hard. I hope this is the last bump in the road for this cycle.

  5. NO WAY! Not OK! Go away you Effin' Cyst! Stay away from our Kate's ovaries!Sending you lots of shinny thoughts and lots of love. Have fun this weekend!*HUGS*

  6. That absolutely fucking sucks. And delay should never have "just" in front of it because when you're in it, there is no just about it. I'm sorry, sweetie.

  7. jill says:

    Ugh! Suck, suck, suck is right :/ I'm sorry for the delay – I'm hoping like crazy that you don't have to re-do the lupron.*hug*

  8. Oh, I'm sorry about the stupid cysts. Yuckola.I have never not had a good time in Charleston, and many of my visits were in cold grey Februaries. And that counts the trip (not a February trip) with the jerky boyfriend when we were camping and he let our sleeping space fill with mosquitoes and then complained about it. Wander … something beautiful (or quirky) will appear. Or you can sue me (disclaimer: you won't get much … blood from a turnip and all that).

  9. Photogrl says:

    Crap.Not fair at all!Effin' Cyst get the hell out! I really, really, really hope the next scan yields good news, and you can continue cystless!Shrink, effin' cyst, SHRINK!

  10. Booo BOOOO! Oh, I am so sorry. I kept waiting for something like this to happen during our IVF. There are so many hurdles to jump over to hopefully get to transfer and hopefully get pregnant and hopefully have a baby. It's actually making my 2ww a bit more peaceful, because I don't have to worry about anything going terribly wrong right this instant.I hope they go away quickly, and that your clinic can change something in your protocol so that it lessens the chances of it happening again.Maybe you can change your birthday to some other time? The spring is always nice.

  11. Shit. I'm so sorry, Kate. Mel is exactly right – no delay can ever be minimized. They totally suck. I am frowning very hard in the direction of the Effin' Cyst and reproaching it strongly with every once of woo-woo vibe-y energy I have. Get thee gone, indeed – can't you see you're not wanted in the slightest?To you, however, I am sending big hugs and virtual comfort food (I'm thinking a batch of my great grandma's apricot jam-filled cheese moons and my super yummy, totally from scratch chicken mushroom rosemary bake with buttered noodles on the side) and wishes for a very happy birthday and the banishment, forevermore, of the birthday curse.

  12. Lucy says:

    so sorry! I've been canceled three times due to overstimming…it is such a blow.

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