Yeah. Bad sucky drippy kind of day.
I cried in the ultrasound room after they saw them, because I knew this would mean either a substantial delay, or an outright cancellation. And then I cried in the waiting room while waiting for Nurse That’s-Not-A-Side-Effect. And then I cried when she told me “worst case scenario, it’ll be a two week ‘delay'”. I guess she was avoiding using the word “cancellation”, but that’s what it is, when you stop taking drugs, and then have to start the whole shebang over again. And then I cried when Dr. Lolly showed up and wanted to speak with us just as we were leaving (and I was going to be able to get in the car and cry in peace). And then after I left, I cried some in the car. And I cried some in the Whole Foods Cafe while eating my muffin. And then I cried some more in the car. And now I’m sitting here, tearing up again.
So yeah. Excellent, excellent day.
Oh, and it is forecast to rain throughout the entire weekend in Charleston. So I get to sit in a Comfort Effin’ Inn, staring at the walls all day tomorrow and Sunday. Great.
I realize that this is “just” (god, I hate that word) a delay, but it makes me feel like they are ignoring some larger issue. I have had ovarian cysts all my life, only narrowly controlled by the Metformin. And I have a form of PCOS, and while these cysts may not be related to PCOS, it does make me more prone to forming them, especially when I take a drug like Lupron, which sends my hormones all crazy out of balance. I raised the concern with the Nurse That’s-Not-A-Side-Effect, and she felt like this was just a random one-off occurrence, that my past history of ovarian cysts and delicately balanced hormones had nothing to do with the fact that I formed one now. She told me that if the E2 test comes back high (and it will), then I am to quit taking the Lupron, wait for a full period and then start over. And then I cried harder.
Of course, I am kind of glad that Dr. Lolly caught us, because she told me to keep taking the Lupron and to come back in a week to see what has happened with the cyst, and check E2 levels again, and possibly aspirate the cyst at that point if E2 levels have dropped, at which point, we could begin stimming then. It gave me just a bit of hope that maybe -just maybe- I might not have to start this crazy Lupron shit all over again.
Ah. I know I wrote about it before, but I’ve been worried since the beginning of this cycle, because generally, the week before and week after my birthday are TOTAL. UTTER. SHIT. Every single year, there is some utter crap that happens surrounding my birthday. I think last year, I got wicked sick. And probably the year before that as well. Every year, some really unhappy situation presents itself during the two week period around the birthday (oh, and I have NEVER, as long as I have been a menstruator, NOT been on my period on my birthday), and I was feeling really nervous about doing this IVF cycle close to my birthday. Because there is apparently some grand cosmic force (in which I do not believe) that thinks that Sept. 17th-30th is just Fuck-With-Kate-Time. So naturally, I can’t say I was too surprised by this recent development.
So. Send shrinky thoughts this way for what shall from now be known as the Effin’ Cyst. Get thee gone, Effin’ Cyst. And GO AWAY Birthday Curse…