Man, I’m tired. Someday, I might sleep again, but I have no idea when. H and I have been discussing potential schedules (there’s a book I’ve been perusing- Juggling Twins– that espouses a shared-sleep schedule for parents of twins and I wonder whether it will work for us or not), and the only thing that has become clear is that we just don’t know what will work for us until the boys are here. I don’t think I’d be as concerned about sleep issues had I not spent the last nine months with near-constant insomnia. I’m to the stage now where even if my brain would let me sleep, I’m too uncomfortable to actually stay asleep for more than an hour or two.
So yeah. Someday, in the vague mists of The Future, I will sleep again. Until then, I reserve the right to whine about it repeatedly.
I’m 34 weeks pregnant today, and luckily (and for the first time), my photography assistant (aka H) happened to be at home with me when I thought about the need to take my weekly progress shot. So, for the first time, here’s one that wasn’t taken while balancing the camera on my boob, shooting into the mirror:
Hey! Would’ja look at that? I have a head! And a face! (And my nose is swollen and my cheeks are puffy and I cannot be bothered to straighten my hair anymore!)
I look at this picture and I think, “Whoa. I am LARGE and IN CHARGE.” I know it’s not all that much bigger than last week, but it sure feels that way.
In this one, you can actually see the swollen lump of tendons coming through the carpal tunnel on the back of my wrist and the bulging veins in my hands. And that’s at a good point in the day, around noon, when my hands are sufficiently warmed up for the day, but not yet over-tired, when, for about 30 minutes, I can make a fist without my knuckles seizing up, and can actually use all the fingers on my hand. That’s the Golden Hour…
Yes, the belly looms large right now. I’ve made it to 34 weeks, which is great. I have a large number of twin mom friends who seem to have gone into labor sometime during their 34th week. Of course, I know plenty of twin moms who have gone either before or after this time, but 34 seems to be a popular week to have the babies. I’m hoping to get a few more weeks, but at this point, my body would be delighted to be un-pregnant, so I can’t say that there wouldn’t be a small part of me that was happy were it to be my fate-deemed time to give life to these babies.
I suppose this means I might consider actually packing a hospital bag soon, huh?
In keeping with that plan, I was looking for some sort of inexpensive yet soft pajama-ish item to wear at the hospital, were I to feel like wearing something like that instead of the hospital gown (which from experience is notoriously small and scratchy and annoying at this hospital…). And I thought about how I wished there were an outlet mall around here (there’s one between here and Charlotte, but it’s kinda far to drive and from what I’ve heard, only part of it is actual “outlet” stores…). And then, because I am clever though sometimes slow, it dawned on me that there are at least two Hanes outlets in the city where I live, because (duh) Hanes products were born-and-bred right here in this city. Duh. (Like I said, clever though slow…) You’d think the 25 different Hanes-named streets/parks/malls, etc. would have reminded me of this fact long ago, but alas, no. Slow, slow, slow…
Anyhow, I went to one of these stores and looked around today and ended up not finding exactly what I’m looking for (nightgown-ish, knit, super-soft, with reasonable boob access, but something I absolutely don’t mind ruining and thus priced accordingly). Instead, I found a nursing bra, and I was wondering what people’s experiences were with various types/styles/sizes. I read that I should find one bra that fits normally right now in the band width, but that is one size larger in the cup size, with the idea that eventually, I’ll know more about what size the boobs settle at and can thus choose a second bra later on in the appropriate size. I’ve also heard that I should avoid underwire (something about plugged ducts), but I’m just an underwire kinda girl. I just feel all floppy and disorganized (and saggy, to be honest) without the support of an underwire. I have one very sturdy non-underwire sports bra that might work were it to have a nursing version, but otherwise, I don’t know that I’m comfortable without underwire.
So. Underwire or no? Sizing advice? Should I buy one now and wait till later to buy more if needed (or should I not buy one at all right now)? Do I even need a nursing bra if I (1) don’t even know whether nursing will work for us or (2) how often I’ll actually be leaving the house and needing to feed the boys while in some place where a bra is customary? The lactation nurse at the breast feeding class suggested buying a sports bra and cutting holes in it to use as a hands-free pumping bra– has anyone tried this?
So that is that. I am off to take a short nap, to try to stave off this headache and to make up a little for the lack of sleep from last night. Thirty four weeks. Wow.