Still not here…

Nope, not here yet.

Just a quick post to update, because I apparently somehow never posted that a few weeks ago, my doctor put me on the schedule for a caesarian birth at exactly 38 weeks. Wednesday just happens to be his “delivery” day at the hospital, and also the day that I turn whatever week I am turning. So, 38 weeks will be June 16th, and that is the day when I will deliver. Unless the boys decide to arrive before then, of course. But it very well looks like June 16th will be the day. I’m chalking it up to preggo brain, because I distinctly remember posting something about the date, but apparently, I didn’t.

So. June 16th.

Seven. More. Days.

Twins born under Gemini, though. That’s kinda cool.

As I said before, my parents are in town. Despite my best effort to keep everything low key, I seem to be doing an awful lot of running around, and I am TIRED. Today, I had to pick them up from the Hyundai dealership where they had dropped their car for service. We then went back to their apartment for a bit, then to the mall, then to lunch, then to a bookstore, and now finally home. I. am. tired.

Oh, yeah. Pregnant criminal…
On Monday afternoon, I was visiting my parents at the apartment that they are subletting for the summer. And because they had just moved in the day prior, they were not yet listed in the directory that one would use to dial a resident and be “buzzed in” to their building. So I’m standing there at the door, about to call my parents, when an older couple walks out through the door. The female half of the couple sees me standing there in my 36w5d pregnant glory, punching through the directory keypad thing fruitlessly trying to find my parents’ listing, and gives me the shifty-eyed, nervous look, while forcefully shoving the glass door closed behind her. I (being late pregnant and thus, feeling free to be a total asshole) sarcastically tell her, “Thanks. I really appreciate that.” She informs me that they aren’t allowed to let anyone in the building, and I just roll my eyes at her. Because REALLY. What the fuck am I going to do inside the building? I am either going to walk into the lobby and… um, sit on a couch? Look at the locked mailboxes? Walk out the other door on the other side of the building? Joyride up and down 17 floors on an elevator? Stare intently at the marble floor? What?!?

OR, I am going to heft my enormous pregnant ass slowly across their marble floors to get on the elevator and go to visit the people I am legitimately there to see. Seriously. Anyhow, H (who is having some issues with aggression lately… don’t know what’s up with that, other than the fact that he is seriously freaked out by the impending birth of these boys and can’t seem to process the emotions appropriately…) decides to smart off to this older couple as well, saying that we were there to visit my PARENTS, and they sing-songedly reply that I should just call them and have them come and let me in. Which just really pissed me off, but frankly, I had made my point through my sarcasm, that I was clearly no kind of smooth criminal, that their actions, singling me out as some sort of suspicious up-to-no-gooder were totally off-base, so I really had nothing else to say. But H just starts yelling about how they are RUDE, RUDE PEOPLE, etc. yelling, blah, blah, jerks, etc. And I have to tell him to stop yelling at them, because they can’t help it if they are jerks, that they are just being who they are, which is people who prefer rules to common human kindness and courtesy.

And ten seconds later, another person walks up, just as I had finally reached my mom via cell phone, and says, “Oh, do you guys need to get in?” and I thanked her and walked in as she held the door for me… So clearly, even if it is a building policy that you don’t let people in through the doors, these old fuckers were just trying to be assholes, because other people saw me and obviously came to the conclusion that I must be legit, rules or not.

Which supports my point that old people either COMPLETELY LOVE or COMPLETELY HATE pregnant women. And most seem to be in the “completely hate” category (but there is always the odd old woman who likes to pat the belly or ask about the babies, etc.). And I think it has something to do with the competitiveness of protected classes. They want to be the only one about whom people make a fuss or extend a courtesy. They see no reason to offer kindness to someone else, because in the Pain Olympics, THEY SHOULD WIN, DAMMIT, DON’T YOU KNOW, you whippersnapper, YOU!!! Never mind that they’ve had years and years and years to grow accustomed to whatever physical limitations they may have, or that I think I could legitimately argue that I am FAR more disabled at this point than either member of this particular couple were. I should bow down and kiss the ground they walk on, just because they exist and they are OLD! I mean, I don’t expect people to kiss my ass because I am pregnant– I really don’t– but I do prefer that people do not go out of their way to make my life more difficult, by, say, forcefully shutting a door behind them, while looking at me like I’m some sort of homicidal maniac out to get them.

Whatever. It is what it is, but I just found it completely stupid that, physically, I’ve never been more obviously handicapped, more non-threatening, than I am at this exact moment, and this is when these fucktards decide that I am, apparently, worthy of sidelong glares and complete suspicion. Stupid.

Anyhow, thirty seven weeks pregnant. One more week to go!

Thirty Seven Weeks
In this picture, my hands are more or less sitting on top of their little heads. They really like to have their heads up next to each other!

Thirty Seven WeeksGi-nor-mous…

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18 Responses to Still not here…

  1. says:

    One more week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!that was fucking ridiculous!! LOL to you and your DH though, awesome! I wish you guys would've taken a picture of them too. just to see their jerk faces…only kidding. but lame.

  2. 16th… I'm countin down with you girl. What a complete and elderly pair of utter jerks. I agree with your analysis of their love hate feelings though. My dad, who is recently retired, always said when people get old they get nastier. Except for him of course, thank God. I agree with the comment above, can you imagine their faces if you just snapped their pic real quick, they would have probably called 911! Hang in there girl.. you look great too! xoxo

  3. jill says:

    Haha! Watch out for Kate and H. I picture you two as Bonnie and Clyde. Just can't let you guys go running (hah) around places you shouldn't be. Too funny. Silly rude old people.Holy crap 1 week? I was wondering when your scheduled date was. I hope you have a nice relaxing last week! I'll be here sitting on the edge of my seat 🙂

  4. Sue says:

    So soon! June 16th is my mother's birthday, so if you make it until then, I'll have no trouble remembering the date!

  5. Rachel says:

    I happen to find H's response entirely appropriate. Of course that probably doesn't surprise you ;-)Anyway, I say that their slamming of the door only goes to show that YOU are able to make 37 weeks pregnant look fit and agile. They could certainly imagine you sneaking up the fire escape stairs to floor 15, using your hair clip to pry open the lock, and then stealthily making off with the large electronics. Of course they could!

  6. Star says:

    You look fabulous, btw! I'm so excited for you that your boys are almost here. I cannot believe that incident with the door. I thought people were nicer in the south. I was totally amazed by how rude people were when I was pregnant, both times, and I've read on message boards around here how no one will give up their seat for a pregnant woman on the metro … but looking at a pregnant woman like a criminal? That is a new low. So sorry that happened.

  7. What's the problem? I can't think of anyone more suspicious looking than a 37-weeks-pregnant-with-twins woman. What jerks. You look fabulous — not suspicious at all. And 2 cheers (one for each boy, naturally) for a c-section date!

  8. PJ says:

    You probably did post a date, and I just wasn't payin' attention! Or um, I just have a short attention span. But WOW! June 16th is next Wednesday!!!I'm having contractions left and right here these past few days. Probably just Braxton Hicks, but that's WITH the terbutaline meds. It'll be interesting to see what the doc says about that today.Gemini! That IS cool!When my parents were here a few weeks ago it was tiring, and all I was doing was going for appointments. I laughed my ass off at your old folks story! Seriously? ahaha!You look great, by the way!

  9. Ellen K. says:

    I had a dream last night that I checked FB first thing this morning and you had posted the birth announcement, in an acrostic using the boys' names. Please don't do that.I agree about elderly women disliking pregnant women because they are competitive about getting attention and assistance. I particularly noticed this when I was in the hospital elevator for my OB checkups. Men were quite friendly. Older women didn't talk to me, except to ask about my weight gain, and then look so fucking smug as they proclaimed that they only gained 12 lb vs. my 57.5 lb with twins. They all come running for the babies, though. Especially for twins. Grandmas go crazy. So just wait; you'll have your day, very soon.

  10. Tara says:

    Yay for now less than a week! And Eeek! I'm amazed you are still driving. Not to mention all of the rest.And obviously she was jealous. You must be trying to smuggle contraband underneath your shirt because no one could look that fabulous at 37w pregnant with twins. Wait it only gets better when the boys arrive and they start slamming the doors into the double stroller.

  11. luxzia says:

    Well, yes, because we suffer you can't suffer more than me (human empathy is at a pretty awful ebb these days, I must say). I don't know that it has to do with age – I'd honestly say a lot of it has to do with, well the weird entitlement so many people seem to have, no matter what their age or state of health. Less than one week to babies! So exciting!

  12. Photogrl says:

    One more week….CRAZY!I love the H. started mouthing off to the couple, too! That is just insane…really, what were you going to do? I swear some people are just rude to be rude!Looking great, as always! Can't wait to see the boys!

  13. amy says:

    I'm so excited for you! I can't believe it's so close. I think the first time I read you was because I saw a comment you'd left somewhere that said, "having just transferred two embryos…" I think it was fate! :)Hope you're feeling well (as well as can be expected)! You still look great.

  14. amy says:

    Oh also, re: old people: I've noticed that too, with older women not being impressed by the whole pregnancy thing. I can't even get my own stepmom to ask questions, like it's beneath her to care. Maybe it's just my family and the people I'm around (and my circumstances)…but I agree with you. It's totally weird.

  15. PJ says:

    hahhaaaaa @ you asking H if he was ready! I called my husband yesterday and it freaked him out that I was even calling! Kinda fun, actually. :)Yes, it would be cool if we delivered on the same day. Although… it would be cooler if I delivered earlier. Like maybe… today. ;)Yea, NO patience. Stick a fork in me, I'm done!I can't wait to see pics of your little guys!

  16. PJ says:

    Oh, and my iPhone is from caveman times. I think it's three or four years old, 2nd generation. I am sadly attached to it, but I think I might have to give it up because the data package is $20 a month and well… two babies, income adjustment, you know. We'll see.

  17. I am so gobsmacked at the idiocy of those geezers! Honestly! Good for you guys for calling them on it, though – not like it sounds like it did much good, but still. Cannot WAIT to meet your little fellas!

  18. ewwwwww……..I am getting so excited!!!

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