All you need is…

I swear there’s a birth story coming at some point (though it isn’t all that exciting– walk in, get numb, take babies out, sew Kate up…), but for now, I just have to say that there’s not much better than spending your day napping in bed with an adorable, sleep-heavy squeaking little dough-lump snuzzling on your chest. Except the fact that this one is yours to keep. And that later, you get to do the same thing, only with his brother. Sigh. I truly can’t remember a time feeling this much happiness and love. I feel so incredibly lucky.

I can’t honestly say I know a whole lot about what it’s like to endure lengthy and tragic treatments and procedures, to be truly and utterly beaten down by infertility (again, we are so lucky to have been so quickly and accurately diagnosed the first time) but I can say that if I had any advice for my friends still in the trenches, it would be that based on feeling what I feel right now, it’s all worth it. The years of not knowing and struggling to concieve without an RE, and then dealing with the appointments and scheduling and painful procedures and injections, the “what if”s and doubts and emotional fuckery– all of it is nothing compared to this bliss. Perhaps I would feel differently if my treatment story had been longer or more wrought with intense tragedy and pain and disappointment and expense– I don’t know. But I do know that from this side of things, I would race back in time to tell my year-ago self (or two or three or seven-year-ago self) that this is THE BEST. The absolute best. And it is truly my biggest wish for all of my bloggy friends to find bliss lke this at the end of their journey (even if parenthood isn’t your eventual end). It is just so much better and more amazing than I ever imagined it could be. And this happiness should belong to everyone.

Sigh. Let me stop myself before I begin singing Kum Bah Ya… Besides, The Beatles said all of this better than I ever could:
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

Love, love, love…

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54 Responses to All you need is…

  1. Marie says:

    You are a turd! You made me cry at my desk. I know of this overwhelming love you speak of. It is so great! And you really can't even describe it.

  2. Marie says:

    You are a turd! You made me cry at my desk. I know of this overwhelming love you speak of. It is so great! And you really can't even describe it.

  3. tireegal68 says:

    I missed it – but here I am saying congrats. So happy you are in bliss! The boys are adorable! Enjoy ! How's the c-section recovery going? Xoxo

  4. tireegal68 says:

    I missed it – but here I am saying congrats. So happy you are in bliss! The boys are adorable! Enjoy ! How's the c-section recovery going? Xoxo

  5. Ellen K. says:

    I totally agree. And so does D. Even with PPD and the expenses of IVF and a pretty rough time of it during IF. We marvel every day at our luck.Enjoy. : )

  6. Ellen K. says:

    I totally agree. And so does D. Even with PPD and the expenses of IVF and a pretty rough time of it during IF. We marvel every day at our luck.Enjoy. : )

  7. strongblonde says:

    🙂 it's truly amazing, right? xoxo

  8. strongblonde says:

    🙂 it's truly amazing, right? xoxo

  9. Rachel says:

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this image.

  10. Rachel says:

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this image.

  11. Congratulations sweetie, you boys are absolutely beautiful!That love feeling is so amazing, isn't it? Its like you just can't get enough of it. Enjoy your beautiful boys!*HUGS*

  12. Congratulations sweetie, you boys are absolutely beautiful!That love feeling is so amazing, isn't it? Its like you just can't get enough of it. Enjoy your beautiful boys!*HUGS*

  13. Oh, Kate! I'm so, so glad you're here, basking in the love. It makes me so happy to read this.The crazy thing is that it just keeps getting better and better.

  14. Oh, Kate! I'm so, so glad you're here, basking in the love. It makes me so happy to read this.The crazy thing is that it just keeps getting better and better.

  15. Beautiful – just, simply beautiful!XOXO – Kara

  16. Beautiful – just, simply beautiful!XOXO – Kara

  17. PJ says:

    Exactly. I am completely overwhelmed with love and adoration.Your boys are beautiful Kate! And, I hear ya! Sleep, eat, sleep, sleep, sleep, with an occaisional whimper and a diaper change. What a life! Bliss.

  18. PJ says:

    Exactly. I am completely overwhelmed with love and adoration.Your boys are beautiful Kate! And, I hear ya! Sleep, eat, sleep, sleep, sleep, with an occaisional whimper and a diaper change. What a life! Bliss.

  19. Photogrl says:

    So very true…you put it so well.Being that I struggled with secondary IF, remembering those moments after Miss O's birth was the only thing that kept me going in my quest for #2.I'm SO happy for you…

  20. Photogrl says:

    So very true…you put it so well.Being that I struggled with secondary IF, remembering those moments after Miss O's birth was the only thing that kept me going in my quest for #2.I'm SO happy for you…

  21. It's wonderful to see you so happy.Again, congratulations!

  22. It's wonderful to see you so happy.Again, congratulations!

  23. Tara says:

    Beautiful! Congratulations once again.

  24. Tara says:

    Beautiful! Congratulations once again.

  25. "emotional f-ery" man that is so mine now. thanks for the mind corruption.you know, i so hope i reach your "side" in october I can't imagine how good it must feel to finally hold YOUR sons girl, truly a blessing in so many ways. and worth every minute, month and year of grief I agree. xoxoxo

  26. "emotional f-ery" man that is so mine now. thanks for the mind corruption.you know, i so hope i reach your "side" in october I can't imagine how good it must feel to finally hold YOUR sons girl, truly a blessing in so many ways. and worth every minute, month and year of grief I agree. xoxoxo

  27. Five years, three IUI, five IVF, one FET, four m/c's, and I still couldn't agree with you more. SO worth it! The money, the tears, the years, and the scars just fade away in G's coos and D's giggles. (That's right– he giggles!)Congrats on making it to your scheduled-C! I hadn't been keeping track of your due date, but when I didn't hear from you re: package (which I'm assuming arrived) I realized that holy crap you were probably a mommy!Honey, you deserve this happiness and love. Treasure it, savor it. Do what I do and wrap yourself up in it like a blanket when you lie down to sleep. Can't wait to hear more. Please email me if you need any advice or help. I'm only 12 weeks in front of you but I feel like a veteran by now. (I can email you my phone number as well, sweetie.)Hang in there. It does get tough, but all the crappy stuff is so very temporary. Seriously, why get all crazed over sleep deprivation (and oh, god, am I suffering from long-term sleep deprivation!) when it's only a few months of it? Oh, and remember what I said about drugs. Seriously. I don't know a single woman who didn't get PPD, and there's no reason to be miserable during these magical months.AARGGH. I want to write more, but the babies are clamoring for breakfast. And it's 6:20 a.m., which is WAY too early. Grrr.Love you,BC

  28. Five years, three IUI, five IVF, one FET, four m/c's, and I still couldn't agree with you more. SO worth it! The money, the tears, the years, and the scars just fade away in G's coos and D's giggles. (That's right– he giggles!)Congrats on making it to your scheduled-C! I hadn't been keeping track of your due date, but when I didn't hear from you re: package (which I'm assuming arrived) I realized that holy crap you were probably a mommy!Honey, you deserve this happiness and love. Treasure it, savor it. Do what I do and wrap yourself up in it like a blanket when you lie down to sleep. Can't wait to hear more. Please email me if you need any advice or help. I'm only 12 weeks in front of you but I feel like a veteran by now. (I can email you my phone number as well, sweetie.)Hang in there. It does get tough, but all the crappy stuff is so very temporary. Seriously, why get all crazed over sleep deprivation (and oh, god, am I suffering from long-term sleep deprivation!) when it's only a few months of it? Oh, and remember what I said about drugs. Seriously. I don't know a single woman who didn't get PPD, and there's no reason to be miserable during these magical months.AARGGH. I want to write more, but the babies are clamoring for breakfast. And it's 6:20 a.m., which is WAY too early. Grrr.Love you,BC

  29. cindyhoo2 says:

    What a beautiful post!! I must admit that my road has been long and even just having the babies in the oven (joey's oven) is making all the heartache and hurt fade. I can only imagine how much healing will happen when we actually meet our boys! Congrats again. This post made me all teary.

  30. cindyhoo2 says:

    What a beautiful post!! I must admit that my road has been long and even just having the babies in the oven (joey's oven) is making all the heartache and hurt fade. I can only imagine how much healing will happen when we actually meet our boys! Congrats again. This post made me all teary.

  31. Shinejil says:

    EXCELLENT.So happy to hear you're so happy! So glad everyone's doing well!

  32. Shinejil says:

    EXCELLENT.So happy to hear you're so happy! So glad everyone's doing well!

  33. Lut C. says:

    I feel the same – but I must confess, if I hadn’t made it to parenthood, I might have felt differently. Perhaps I would have regretted trying quite so many years. There’s no way of knowing.

    A lovely wish for everyone still struggling, hear, hear!

    (Arrived here from the Crème de la Crème list.)

  34. Aramelle says:

    So, so true! Every time I look in my sweet boy’s eyes, I think exactly the same thing…he is worth each and every moment of heartache and struggle.
    Congratulations! 🙂

    (Here from the Creme)

  35. Foxypopcorn says:

    Its posts like this that reassure me to not give up. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that I will appreciate it so much more when we get there. Thank you for filling my heart with hope.
    love to you and you beautiful family!
    -Foxy

  36. Genevieve says:

    This is what I dream of…I can’t wait. Beautiful post.

  37. Michelle says:

    Thank you. I needed this today.
    (Creme de la Creme)

  38. Alissa says:

    What a beautiful post…thank you for filling my heart with hope for what’s to come. ((hugs))

    Here from Creme de la Creme.

  39. Gail K says:

    I love the term “emotional fuckery” and will use it in the future. Perfect description!

    Also, congratulations!

  40. WaterBishop says:

    It took me seven years to get here and i couldn’t agree more!

    Congrats!

    (from the creme)

  41. Sarah says:

    Love it! It took us two years, 3 IUI’s and an IVF to get our sweet Henry and I totally agree with you!

  42. Megan says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with you! The bliss you feel with those babies in your arms (or on your chest) IS the best AND is SO worth every minute it took to get here. Love the post!!
    Here from Creme de la Creme =)

  43. a Field of Dreams says:

    Here from Creme de la Creme

    A wonderful post. So true and inspiring. I felt this 6 years later….. bliss.

  44. A beautiful Creme de la Creme post. Still waiting.

    One word: Hope.

  45. Sara says:

    I couldn’t agree more. Totally worth it.

  46. Jessica M. says:

    I’m looking forward to that bliss more than I can even explain! Wonderful post thanks for sharing on the Creme. Much love to you and your little ones…

  47. tdemello says:

    I too love the term ’emotional fuckery’ – it aptly describes the fires of hell I have trudging through for the last 3 years and I don’t think I have even had it as bad some other women. It lovely to know that it really is all worth it – I can’t wait for that moment when I have a baby in my lap starring up at me lovingly (or spewing up all over me! either way). But I think even if I don’t get my happy ending at least I have fought the fight for something that is so worth it. Good luck being a hot new mama!

  48. Esperanza says:

    I’m so happy for you Kate! I know how much you love your sweet, sweet little boys. They are very lucky to call you mother. And I agree, it is worth it. I had to struggle even less than you, but I had so many years of fear and doubt surrounding my fertility, and you know what, now I understand why. Because while I felt like I would never be whole without children, now that I have a daughter I KNOW in my heart that I could never have been this happy without her. She is my everything. She is my heart beating outside of my chest.

    I’m trying to comment on all the Creme de la Creme posts in 100 days! Mel just told me there are 100 more to be posted before the end of the month! That is almost 400 posts! Wish me luck!

    Creme de la Creme Iron Clad Comment Attempter (and #125)

  49. Natasha says:

    Thanks for sharing this post. I love how you described your little ones as little “squeaky dough lumps”…that is a good analogy 😀 I hope to one day find the bliss and happiness that you have found. Thanks for giving all the rest of us hope!

  50. Pingback: My First Batch Of Juicy Picks From Creme De La Creme | fertilelife

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