What, What!

THEY SLEPT!! THEY SLEPT!!! I don’t know what happened, but after a slight bout of fussiness at around 10 p.m., both boys zonked out and slept through till their appropriately timed feedings, after which they quietly zonked out again. I actually managed one or two extended stretches of sleep which has me feeling positively celebratory today.

And truly, I don’t know what we did differently, other than the fact that we never even tried to put them into their bassinet, instead putting them to bed right next to us. I know there are strong opinions in both directions, and I may regret the decision to let them sleep in our bed six or eight months from now, but that will also be six to eight months during which I (and they) have hopefully slept well.

Sigh. I don’t know– I’m just feeling all of this out as we go along. There may come a time when I will want to use some expert plan or another, but for now, we’re just figuring out bit by bit what works for us. The co-sleeper unit thingy arrives tomorrow, and we will see whether it works or not. We are also considering putting an extra mattress on the floor of our bedroom, so that I can sleep there with the boys one H goes back to work (so he can get a bit less disrupted sleep, but still be close by for times when I need help, and so the boys and I can spread out a bit). Again, we’ll see what works for us.

Ah, and now, duty calls (in the form of doodie, courtesy of Sweet Jack… I love that he smiles in his sleep after he fills up his diaper… weirdo. And Henry has started this kind of whimpery noise after he sneezes: “ACHOO! *siiiiiigh*” Weird boys.). I really appreciate all of the advice, and will continue to consult all of it as we try various ways to make it through this surreal newborn time.

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11 Responses to What, What!

  1. Tracy says:

    One of my friends had a baby in January, and she was asking for advice on something or other. I told her she could line up 10 moms, and ask them the same question, and she'd likely get 10 different answers. Every situation is different…from the relationship between mom and dad, their priorities, work schedules, baby's temperments, and even such things as home layout! Anyway, the bottom line is EVERY mom is just feeling her way out, and even if you have preconceived ideas of how you're going to do this or that, those ideas don't necessarily work, and you have to start from scratch until you've figured it out. You're doing what is right for you and your family, and that is all that matters.

  2. Kait says:

    I just read an article at the doctor's office about cosleeping being a leading cause of SIDS in the US. I'm not trying to scare or judge you, just wanted to let you know. I personally have no opinions about it. Congrats on the sleeping. I don't know how you're doing it with twins. You are a rock star!

  3. Melis.sa says:

    Woot about the sleep!!!Do what's best for you & your family 🙂

  4. SassyMama says:

    Yay for sleeping!

  5. luxzia says:

    As you know, we have the friend with all the opinions on child-rearing…But from what I gather co-sleeping is only dangerous when the adults have been drinking, are on medication that causes drowsiness or otherwise somehow on some substance that inhibits reactions (and actually if the parent has been smoking too). Most people around the world practice co-sleeping (or practice probably isn't even the right word – they just do it because it's what they've always done).That being said, parenting is a process, like life itself and like everyone else is saying, you'll figure out what is best as you go along.

  6. Luxzia is right – drugs, alcohol, smoking are all risk factors with co-sleeping, as is sleeping on an unsafe surface, like a waterbed or a couch. Most of the studies that link co-sleeping with SIDS don't generally take those things into account. In my opinion and based on things I've read, which include a really good article from Mothering magazine (think you can find that article online), what is good enough for the whole of human history is good enough for me. Not to say that it's wrong to have other arrangements, it's just that it works for me and I'm totally convinced that it's safe when practiced safely. Also, the other bed idea is a good one – I got better sleep once Manny got kicked out, probably because of more space but also I think cause I wasn't worried about waking him up, so I could just do what I needed to do and not try to be alert enough to think about whether I was disturbing him. But most of all, WOOOOOT on the sleep!

  7. jenn says:

    Yay for sleep! That was pretty much our first co-sleep night too. I second the increased risk with drinking, smoking, medication- Any night I had even one drink (or the hub did) we suffered through with the crib or bassinet. She ended up regressing at a point while co-sleeping which is when we switched to her own crib in her own room- I think it was around 4 months. It went up & down- but right after her birthday she started sleeping 8-8. So- hopefully it doesn't take a year, but you figure out what works for you & yours.

  8. Photogrl says:

    Yay! I'm SO happy you got a good solid time of sleep!Hoping it continues for ALL of you!

  9. Ellen K. says:

    Yay for sleeping!Like Tracy said, you could get 10 answers from 10 different moms. I threw out half my preconceptions when I found out I was pregnant with twins, and the other half when the girls arrived!Most accidental deaths from co-sleeping are due to a parent under the influence or drugs, alcohol, or sedative-like medications. There was such a case here recently — the mom's blood alcohol level was through the roof. I worked on a big book about SIDS. One of the big risk factors is change in caregivers and place of sleep. By which I mean having a relative watch the baby without having a safe crib or pack & play in which to put the baby, so the baby ends up on the couch between pillows or on a soft bed with lots of bedding, or the older relative is highly resistant to "back to sleep." That's a really big one.So I don't think co-sleeping is risky across the board. We did it a bit, and most of the new parents I know have done it in the earliest weeks.

  10. So glad for some sleep for you yeah! I have no idea about sleeping, but am thinking we will co sleep at first with Superbaby. Of course I will contniue to read stuff and I think like you we will just see what works best. What kind of cosleeping unit do have coming? So glad you and the boys are well girl. xoxo

  11. Serah B. says:

    I have a strong opinions about what works for my family, but my strong opinion about what you should do is that you should absolutely do what works for your family. You are educated, well-read, conscientious and intuitive. You'll do exactly the right thing.For what it's worth: I talked to my Pediatrician at Johns Hopkins extensively about co-sleeping, because at that time Baltimore had a huge public service campaign encouraging parents not to co-sleep and it scared the sh*t out of me. (It was like– ABCs of babies: Babies should sleep Alone on their Backs in a Crib or they will IMMEDIATELY DIE!!! This was on the sides of buses and on billboards EVERYWHERE). Anyhow, she was clear that SIDS does not seem to be related to co-sleeping, and that suffocation deaths (as distinct from SIDS) related to co-sleeping almost 100% of the time involve unsafe sleeping conditions (drugs/alcohol, sleeping with a babysitter on a couch, etc). The cause of SIDS is unknown, and is not the same as suffocation deaths where the cause IS known: too many blankets, drunk parents, etc. Both types of infant deaths seem to get lumped together in popular parenting articles. Her advice was to avoid popular parenting articles since they latch onto fads and misrepresent research. Since Baltimore is the heroin capital of the US, it made sense to have this type of marketing campaign, but for non-crack-smoking parents, co-sleeping can be a safe option.

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