So one year ago today, right about this time, I’d just been relieved of some 18 eggs and H had liberated a couple million swimmers, and our gametes were getting all cozy with one another in a petri dish across town, courtesy of ICSI. And now, those gametes are grunting and slurping and playing with each others’ hands while nursing on my lap.
It’s enough to make a girl misty. Oh, Science. You silly old so-and-so. I love ya.
Speaking of misty, I don’t know if parenthood has turned me into a softy, or if the hormones are just still settling out, but I find myself easily moved to tears these days. I don’t mean that I feel generally sad or anything– just that things that intend to provoke emotion are finding an easy target in me. I sobbed through this week’s episode of Glee. And I really need to stop reading blogs that deal with loss. I can’t handle it right now. (And I hate that I say that, because obviously the person who writes about loss has it a lot worse than I do, and can’t just click away from their tragedy. How rude for me to say that I can’t handle someone else’s very real pain.)
Anyway, I’m just a touch sentimental these days. I know how lucky we are to have had such relative ease in our family-building process and in our life now. And yes, I got a little teary when I found out that Dr. Edwards had won the Nobel Prize, finally, after all these years. Because without him (and his partner), these two infants, these people, two humans, would not exist. And that’s a powerful thing.
I’m not a religious sort, but seeing the sorts of things that great minds can accomplish, the impact they can have, the wonderful acheivements we humans are capable of– well, that’s about the closest I come to a feeling of spiritual awe. It’s easy to talk about the inspiration for these acheivements coming from some Grand Being, his hand directing thei movements and thoughts, but to me, it almost insultingly discounts the very real and very hard work being done by these great minds. When we enter into the realm of this sort of science, the sentimental sort, the wonderful world of dimpled knees and button noses and rubber-band wrists, it’s natural to want to feel that sense of awe, perhaps moreso than when dealing with more abstract scientific acheivements like mapping the human genome, etc. I mean, creating humans is amazingly intricate work–surely the divine is at play, right?
Think that if you will, if it’s part of your code, if religion is part of your understanding of the world, but as for me, while feeling no less wonder at the amazing process of creating life, I have to say that my awe lies with the superb minds like Dr. Edwards who worked incredibly hard to figure out how to make it possible for two people like H and I to have a family.
All that serious stuff aside, I’m thrilled that I finally got a new power cord in the mail for my netbook. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging and commenting!
Here’s what’s been going on in the last week:
I went ahead and started the bathroom mini-reno project last weekend. I pulled out the old vanity (which was stuuuuupidly hard, because like almost everything else in this house, it was done with the intention of never being UN-done. Grr.) on Sunday, and got the new one installed on Monday. There’s still some work to do (trim carpentry. My FAVORITE. Ugh.), but as of right now, at least the sink is once again useable (and much nicer looking than our previous sink). We hired a sitter to come to the house for a few hours this weekend to watch the boys while we take out the wallpaper and get a little painting done in there. Then, there’ll be a little floor repair, and then the installation of the quarter-round on the baseboards (more trim carpentry! fun!), some touch-up paint on the trim-work, and then we’ll be done with any of the work we are able to do. We’ll still need to eventually hire someone to come in and run a shower line and put tile in the tub surround, but cosmetically, it’ll be done. I know three hours on a Saturday won’t be enough time to do all of that, but it will be enough time to at least get the wallpaper down and get started painting. The rest is stuff that I can do in bits and pieces as H watches the boys.
So, I don’t remember if I mentioned it here, but I was super excited about going to Stroll.er Str.ength class on Tuesday morning. And I’m glad I went. But sadly, I don’t think it’s the right fit for me. It wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I don’t know what led me to expect things the way I did, but I admit that I was disappointed (though through no fault of the group organizer… just my own expectations that weren’t met). I think I expected that it would be light-to-moderate exercise involving the strollers and some weights, etc. Instead, it was parking the strollers at one end of the tennis courts or soccer fields and then running ‘suicides’, with different activities at each ‘suicide’ point.
Now, keep in mind that pre-pregnancy, I was a pretty avid runner, and that post-pregnancy, I’ve taken several runs, where I spent 30-60 minutes moving at a fairly brisk pace (yes, my mile time SUCKS now, but my point is that I’m able to move continuously at a decent pace without stopping for anywhere from 30-60 minutes). Despite platitudes from many of the class participants (‘Oh, I’m so out of shape!’ ‘I’ll never be able to keep up!’, etc.), I finished LAST, every single set. EVERY. SINGLE. SET. I mean, I’m not in great shape, but my gosh! If I can’t even sort of keep up, then who are these women??? Where does their energy come from? Sigh.
Anyhow, the other issue I had with the class was that I really thought that the stroller (thus the babies) would actually be involved. One of the reasons I haven’t run more often is that I don’t feel comfortable parking the boys in a chair and leaving them to sit for an hour while I work out. I mean, if I wanted to park the stroller and run across a field, I could do that at home. It also made me very uncomfortable that several of the moms there were happy to leave their babies to cry for extended amounts of time. The class instructor was very clear that she thought we should respond to our babies however we normally would, so if you are the type who responds to your baby’s cries, then you should feel free to stop and tend to them. But the instructor also said (and I think this might have led to some difficult situations for some of the moms) that you shouldn’t feel pressured to keep your baby from crying because we’re all moms, etc. And I get what she meant by that, which is that you don’t need to worry about leaving if your kid is crying, because we’ve all heard the cries before, etc., but what it did (along with her instruction to “keep moving!”) was I think pressure some of the women into not tending to their crying children or to feel guilty for doing so. There was one woman who kept telling me that her baby was so tired, that she didn’t know why he didn’t just go to sleep already, etc., and I know that every mother knows her own baby’s cries, but what I heard wasn’t a tired or hungry cry, it was a hysterical “WHAT THE FUGH IS GOING ON???” cry. And yeah, one baby would start and it would just spread.
And yet, I was one of the only ones who stopped to comfort my boys when they cried (which might be why I finished every set last, because I never got into any sort of rhythm and because I was also paying very close attention to them). And that fact made me uncomfortable, that I felt like I stuck out for stopping to care for the boys. It was just a weird way to feel amongst a group of moms.
Additionally, I’m still nursing and finding it difficult to get 3200 quality calories in during the day, and I’m not really looking to burn too many extra calories right now. I was really mostly looking to get out and move and get back in the habit of regular exercise and finding a way to do so with the boys, and I think this class is geared towards people who are trying to build a hard body. And that will be great for me, eventually, but for now, my reasons for exercising (stress relief, flexibility, habit, better sleep, etc.) aren’t met with what the class offers.
Anyhow, so now, I’m thinking that I need to start my own meet-up of women who want to get together and walk a couple of miles at medium pace with strollers. That’s really what I’d like, to meet up with other moms and walk and chat.
It’s really started to cool off here in the last week. It’s been in the 40s in the morning, and so I’ve been trying to dress the boys accordingly when we leave the house. Of course, I have no idea how that is- I mean, what do you dress babies in during the winter-time? I know that the general rule is one extra layer beyond what you are wearing, but how do you comprise those layers? We have lots of long-sleeved onesies and pants, and a couple of jackets, but I wonder if that’s enough. Any advice?
Additionally, what do babies wear on their feet? Socks, I presume, but anything else? Is this what infant shoes are for, keeping feet warm in the winter? And MAN, does anyone know of baby socks that actually stay on their feet? Henry doesn’t seem to care about socks one way or the other, but Jack is our little kicky-houdini, and we cannot keep socks on him for the life of us! It’s a game we play every morning, ‘Where Did Jack’s Socks End Up Last Night?’ We’ve started using footed sleepers, now that H has decided that they’re not as hard to use as he thought they were (though the boys are less floppy than they were the last time he tried to put one on them), but on nights when they wear something else, Jack’s socks get pushed off his feet in no time at all. Sigh.
Speaking of Mister Kicky Houdini Jack, he’s almost figured out how to flip from stomach to back as well. He figured out how to climb out of the Bumbo when we’d only begun to let him use it a couple of weeks ago. I’m suddenly very leery of leaving him unattended for even a few seconds, unless he’s strapped in!
And it also appears that the bassinet is now 100% done. We’ve been using the twin bassinet pack n play in our room for a while now, but last night, Henry decided he was done, done, done. He gave us one extra week with it, but now, we really need to move one of the cribs in here to use for their first segment of sleep each night (after that, once we come to bed, they co-sleep). The last few nights, we’ve been putting Jack down to sleep in the center of our queen bed (which makes me slightly nervous, but in the end, my need for decompress-time overcomes my concerns about Mister Flippy-Rolly) and last night, Henry joined him. We’re hoping that a crib will give them the space they need to stretch out a bit, and that they might sleep a few extra segments in there instead of in our bed. I actually like co-sleeping with them, but I also like stretching out myself, which is difficult to do in a queen-size bed with two grown-ups and two little snuzzle-dumplings.
Is that all? I think that’s all for now. I’ll post pics of the bathroom redo after I’m done.
OH! Wait! That’s not all!!
The NC Bloggers are meeting up again this fall, and I’m hosting it at my house this time! If you are an NC blogger and you’re interested in meeting up with other bloggers, join our google group and come to the meet-up on Oct 30th!Or, you know, if you’re a blogger from elsewhere and you just want to pop on down for the weekend to say ‘hello’, please feel free to join us, too.
And now, that’s really all. Feel free to advise me on winter baby clothing, if you have any input in that arena…