Sleep, Poop and Cry

I had a bit of a rough weekend (see prior post… email for the password, if you want it– it’s the same as last time), so apologies for my lack of posting. If you don’t care to read the PWP post, just know that insomnia + differing ideas re. work-life balance = stressful discussions.

For some reason, Henry has decided he no longer wants to co-sleep with H, nor does he want to sleep in the crib (that we just moved into our bedroom to replace the bassinet that they’ve outgrown). He wants to sleep in my arms, preferably being rocked in the rocking chair, and not much else will do. If he’s totally zonked, I can pass him to H and he’ll sleep contentedly for quite a while, but ultimately, two or three times a night, he wakes up anyway and doesn’t want to be rocked back to sleep by H, or to just go back to sleep by himself. And this means that I have to get up and take Henry, which means that half the time Jack, who co-sleeps with me, also wakes up, and then, it’s just a world of suck. Since it’s impossible to be two people at once, it just won’t work for both boys to be so completely dependent on mama (and ONLY mama) to get back to sleep.

I know what the solution is, which is that we need to get Henry used to sleeping in the crib again (he was okay in the bassinet for such a long time, but no more). We actually need to transition both boys to their separate sleeping places. I don’t mind co-sleeping (I really don’t), but they both sleep so much longer when they’re not sleeping in our bed with us.

Any advice on the transition from co-sleeping to sleeping in cribs? We’ve got the No Cry Sleep Solution book, which has lots of great advice, but I’m wondering if anyone else has had any personal success with moving their baby/ies out of the bed and might have a tip or trick to share.

(If you’re squeamish, you can skip this next paragraph where I discuss my son’s bowel habits. Or if you’re like me, you can print it out so you can give it to him later on and let him know you discussed his poop with the whole wide world…)

Also, I think Henry has been waking up so much lately because he is a bit constipated. I know that there is great variation in how often breast fed babies will poop, but we’re going on 5 days now, whereas Jack poops 4 or more times a day. It just worries me. The last time this happened with Henry, he really was constipated (I have never before seen an infant make solid poops. It was really weird) due likely to the Prev.acid he was prescribed. It wasn’t just having a long time between normal poos, which could certainly be the case now, but until he actually poops, is there any way to tell whether he’s actually constipated or if he’s just having an especially long time between movements? I’m wondering if I should try something to help him (diluted prune juice or some other such natural-ish remedy? I don’t know) or if I should just wait it out. Generally, he seems in good spirits, but he does pause every so often and grunt and struggle and seem to feel not-so-well, at which point, he usally passes some extremely foul-smelling gas. I’m just not exactly sure what to do, but I’m really tired of paying a $20 co-pay for the doctor to tell me that there’s absolutely nothing wrong and nothing I can do to make them feel better.

H gave me a book for my birthday, Hans Fellada’s Little Man-What Now? It’s an extremely well-written novel about post WWI/pre-WWII Germany, a very interesting story, but on the whole, so completely depressing that I kinda want to just curl in a ball and cry. It just so plainly and perfectly describes the struggles of a young couple (with a baby) and how completely hopeless it can all feel sometimes. Anyhow, I won’t spoil it any further in the event that it’s a book you might actually read, but it’s had me feeling a little wistful at the state of the world. It’s surprisingly relatable to our current state of economic buggery.

And so, now, what of you? What’s going on in your world? Anything exciting on the horizon?

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6 Responses to Sleep, Poop and Cry

  1. Tara says:

    You just reminded me we have the same sleep book but I haven’t read it yet. Though, I’m guessing it doesn’t hold the miracles to a good night sleep if you’re posting. We are *knock on wood, fingers crossed* back on track with Alex sleeping through the night in his own crib. I can only guess it was the teething. And Benjamin is doing much better, but still co-sleeping. I honestly think they just need to outgrow it. As rough as it sounds. At J&H’s age, B was completely dependent on me 24h a day. A tried for ~2 days before realizing he’d get his own snuggles if he went with Nav. B is at it again though, bawling with big huge tears the instant he realizes I’m not in the room.

    For the constipation, I was told up to 7 days between for breastfed was okay. We were advised to start adding diluted (50/50) juice at 4m. But that was changed to 1oz daily full strength prune or pear at our 9m appointment. We do fruit plus a glug/splash of prune juice, yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast everyday. Banana is the worst offender so I never do back to back banana days. We also do daily leg exercises. It seems to help. Lay them on their back and do the bicycle or just move their legs around. If he’s grunting and it seems like more than gas, lay him down and pull his legs back/up and massage his belly downwards with no diaper on (protect under the bum for obvious reasons and also cover him up from spraying). It’s disgusting but works. The no diaper (resistance?) is the key. We haven’t had to resort to the thermometer with vaseline trick yet. You haven’t seen solid poops until you start them on solids. It’s both amazing and gross what their little bottoms can produce.

  2. Esperanza says:

    Hey there Kate. Sorry you’re having poop problems. Happens to the best of us, I’m sure. I’m totally waiting on rice cereal becuase I don’t want to have to worry about constipation and the like. My daughter has many issues but pooping is not (yet) one of them.

    Hey, can you email the password for your other post? Thanks!

  3. Alexicographer says:

    Oh, we dealt with the constipation stuff and once it was too long (I think a week). We were advised to use 1/4 of a child’s glycerin suppository (I forget the amount but certainly have the item and administration correct … that I haven’t forgotten) and that worked, not that it was any fun for any of us to deal with administering it. But for us that was a one-time problem and otherwise things were OK.

    Our approach to sleeping, which may or may not have any usefulness, was to put DS in his crib and leave him there, but stay with him and talk with/reassure him. Occasionally (when he was very fussy) I would take him out and soothe him, so it’s not like we never did that (we was almost, and maybe entirely, always actually me). I’d just lie on the bed in our room and rest or read, and it would take up to an hour for him to fall asleep, but (this was for evenings) once he was asleep, he’d stay that way until he woke to feed. At that point (at this age), I think I’d get him back down once (basically same system, much less time consuming) and then co-sleep after the second feeding. So, not sure if there’s anything useful in there, but good luck.

  4. Ellen K. says:

    I had a hell of a time trying to meet both girls’ sleep needs during most of their first year. Sleep is an area where having twins DOES make a difference. Even an 11-month age difference is huge in terms of children’s sleep patterns. Someone once told me that sleep training is linear. It’s so true. You move forward, you move back; you jump forward again.

    The girls were in separate cribs from 2.5 months on, and we had the cribs arranged in an “L” shape so that I could touch both girls at the same time. I’m big on lullabies and back rubs at naptime and bedtime. This had the added benefit of soothing myself, especially on bad days, of which there were many.

    Oh, the best advice in the No Cry book is the “Pantley dance.” It really works!

    I & N have always been a little constipated. I tried the bit of prune juice in their bottles — that seemed to get things going. But usually I waited it out for a few days.

  5. Leslie says:

    Sleep was (and still is) my number one biggest “thing.” I went back to work when my b/g twins were 6 weeks old. Up until they were 5 weeks, we co-slept and, until “forced,” neither of them ever slept in a bassinet or co-sleeper attached to the bed, though not for lack of trying. I was scared to have them in their cribs, but I knew that for me to not go insane when I went back to work, they had to. So, the first night, my husband took one and I took the other (that’s how we did it in the early days….we were each assigned a baby overnight). My daughter went right down in her crib, cried for maybe 10 minutes with my husband patting her back (she was a stomach sleeper-crazy sensitive moro-reflex and was OK’d by our ped) the whole time after which she promptly fell asleep and slept the whole night. My son was more work to transition, meaning we’d put him in the crib asleep, he’d wake up and cry; I’d stand and bounce him back to sleep; put him back in the crib; he’d be good for 20 mins. then we’d have to do the routine over. But, this only went on for about a week. After that, I’d put him in his crib, turn his mobile on, and most of the time he’d be asleep by the time it timed out. Other times, it’d time out and he start to cry, I’d go back in and soothe him until he stopped crying (not until he was back to sleep). It kind of sucked for about 2-3 weeks total with the constant in and out, but after that, he was totally fine with being in his crib. You may want to check; she not only has good avice, but her comments are gold for different options.

    Good luck!

    Any chance you could stay on a week or so when you’re in Texas for the holidays and have someone fly back with you so that both you and H could get a break?

  6. Photogrl says:

    We just moved the twins to their bedroom late last week. It hasn’t been great, but I think a lot of it is that they are fighting a small cold.

    The bassinets were getting too small, but their crib seems too big! So, I’ve been placing both babies in one crib. They don’t seem to wake each other up, yet are comforted that the other is close by…

    I hope the sleep issues start to resolve for you…((HUGS))

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