Yeah. Four days in one. Where does the time go?
Likely into all the piddling little things that need to be done to keep a household running. At least we got most of the grocery shopping done today, and even managed to take a trip to the park to enjoy the balmy 50 degree weather we had today. And I think I may try to go again tomorrow when it’s forecasted to hit a whopping 59 degrees! Woohoo! It’s practically spring time!! And it’s good that I’ll go again, because I got an adorable video today of Jack swinging, but it is forever trapped on my cell phone, because I don’t have a cord to download things from the camera on the cell, nor do I have a data plan of any sort, so I cannot email it to myself or text it to anyone. Yeah, yeah. I’m an old fogie*, living in the dark ages where we only use our phones to make phone calls… Considering how much I HATE the phone (like really, really, really, really hate phone conversations), you think I might actually get with the times and start texting or whatever. But, since I don’t pay for my cell phone (holla, Mom), I don’t have much motivation to do so.
So, new cell phone– because, after all of the endless calls to tech support to resolve internet issues, my phone actually broke in half. I mean, I probably dropped it at some point and weakened the hinge, but regardless, after I hung up on the last call to Clear tech support, the phone almost heaved a sigh as it threw it’s top half off the hinge and onto the floor. Awesome. Luckily, it had been more than two years, so I qualified for another free one. But sadly, I don’t think I ever saved my contacts to the SIM card, so now, I no longer have any of my old contact info (which, by the by, if you’re someone I used to chat with via phone, you’ll have to email me your cell number again, because I guarantee I don’t have it anywhere anymore…). Pain in the butt, but whatever. I’m just so over caring about it anymore.
We had what was probably our worst night of sleep ever last night. Both boys were fussy, wild, inconsolable, scream, scream, screamy, and woke up over, and over, and over again. And they were both flatly refusing any intervention from H. The screams would go from wild to hysterical if he dared to pick one up or take one from me. We thought it might be teething, but both had ibuprofen before bed due to our strong suspicion that their teeth were bothering them. It was rough. It was hard. It was not something I care to repeat, ever again. I’m sincerely hoping tonight does not go that way or I really don’t know what I’ll do.
Here is where I admit that a couple of weeks ago, feeling intense pressure to actually get some sleep, we attempted a modified CIO. And all I have to say about that is that 1) it firmly cemented in my mind that these methods are not for us, and 2) all CIO methods I’ve read about have some sort of plan in place, typically involving the idea that the baby (or babies) will eventually go to sleep. Not a single one tells you what to do when they cry, and cry, and cry, and cry, and just don’t stop. They all count their time in minutes, or maybe an hour or two. They don’t tell you what to do when your kids cry for THREE STRAIGHT HOURS. I mean, not just ‘fuss, fuss, wah, wah, sigh, fuss, fuss.’ crying. I mean, three straight hours of screaming, stuttering wails, completely inconsolable, shaking, pure abandon crying. H was checking on them at intervals, but it made not a bit of difference. And for the week after that, they clung to me like they wanted to crawl inside my skin. They would sob the second I walked towards the door of the room, and I still don’t think Jack is entirely over the experience. I know so many people for whom this has worked, but I also know that most people I’ve asked about it have children who are generally easy-going, or at least more easy-going than my guys.
I actually met a mom at Book Babies the other morning, and she was describing the first six months of her child’s life, and it was like for the first time, I spoke with someone who had a clue what I meant when I said that my babies (well, Jack really, more than Henry) were seriously fussy. It was so refreshing to talk to someone who understood what I meant, who didn’t nod and say, “Oh, yeah, my baby gets fussy, too.”, who truly, truly got what it was like to have a kid whose voluntary smiles were so rare, who was (is) so frustrated by everything, whose emotions can be so extreme at times, who literally climbs you to get close, close, closer. Anyhow, I guess what I mean is that I really should have listened to my instincts, that methods relying on letting babies cry for extended amounts of time just aren’t right for us. I feel really guilty for even trying, knowing how they reacted, how long I let it go on before insisting that we stop. I am tired, really tired, and I do understand that I did have to at least try something different, but I hate that I second-guessed myself and put my sensitive babies in a situation I knew deep down wasn’t going to jive with their personalities.
Sigh. I have no idea what to do at this point. I’d be thrilled if we went back to waking up every couple of hours, as long as they’d actually go back to sleep between those two hours. I just don’t know where to go next. No idea.
But enough with the heavy stuff, and on to what you’re really here for. Pictures!
And so, there are the last four days in pictures. I’m already enjoying looking back over these photos, and we aren’t even to the halfway point yet. It already seems like they’ve changed so much (like the picture I got today of Jack pulling up on the Exersaucer and holding on with only two fingers… was he even pulling up at all yet when I started this project???). If you are at all inclined, I highly recommend this little photo exercise. It’s starting to get a little repetitive at this point (mostly because I’m too brain-fried to be more creative…), but I like that it pushes me to actually try to get at least one decent photo a day. I’m getting to know my boys better through this (easy to see patterns over many days, like Henry’s addiction to blankets and squeezy plastic books…), and it’s actually kinda fun to see what I can capture in a day.
That’s my story for today. What of you?
*in German, there’s a slang term they use, a “Lul Heiny”, lul meaning drool, and Heiny being a reference to the fact that Heinrich is a common old man name. We sometimes call Henry our “lul Henny” when he makes old man faces…