Days Fifteen Through Twenty-Four

What’s that thing the road to hell is paved with? Ah, yes. My best intentions to blog more frequently. Instead, I’m apparently going to attempt to post nine days worth of photos in one post, because I simply haven’t had the time to slow down and write a post over here. I really don’t know where many of you guys find the time to post such awesome stuff (by ‘awesome’, I do mean truly awesome writing, but at this point, any string of cohesive thoughts also qualifies as ‘awesome’ in my book!).

The boys are sleeping better, but then worse, but then better, but then not napping reliably. Which means that when they do nap, I’m playing catch-up, either with chores or with sleep. I’m also a masochist, apparently, and have started using cloth diapers again, at least during the day, which means that laundry has expanded again as well. But it’s just soooo much cheaper, and soooo much better for the landfill to use cloth. So, we’re trying again, especially since I’ve got a TON of AIO diapers that were gifted to me in the size that the boys are currently in. It just doesn’t make sense to do otherwise. I’m also using gDiapers as well, since H has some bizarre issue with cloth. Even though it’s much easier to velcro on an AIO diaper, he finds it better to use a gDiaper with disposable liner. Even though they sometimes leak, especially on Henry. Even though you then still have to wash the cover. Ah, well. Whatever. I use cloth during the day, and H uses disposables when he changes them. If it works, I roll with it for the time being.

In short, to follow up on my prior post, I saw my awesome doctor, who is still awesome, even after coming back from maternity leave for her third naturally-conceived-after-thirty-eight baby. She’s just such an awesome person, so intuitive, and not pushy, and informed, and educated, etc. Everything you want in a doctor, she is. Anyhow, we talked about the various options, and for now, the solution is vico.din. It does double (well, triple) duty: 1) relieves back pain, 2) helps me sleep… and 3) kinda knocks the boys out a bit after I’ve taken it.

Yes, that was me just admitting that I drug my children via breastmilk.

According to my doc, it gets into the breastmilk in such modest amounts that it’s not really of concern, nor is it of any detriment to them, either. Considering that I spent the last trimester of my pregnancy surviving daily migraines with the help of vi.codin, I’m not especially worried about what it may do to them. So, I sleep, they sleep (though it’s certainly not the knock-out for them that it is for me…), and my back doesn’t hurt as much.

My doctor commiserated with me over the inevitability of the back pain, understood that clearly, I cannot quit caring for my children, cannot just quit picking them up or quit nursing them. She did encourage me to consider retrying a Ferber or other cry-and-check method of sleep training once the boys are a bit older, but told me that she completely understood my decision to co-sleep at this point. She certainly wasn’t pushy about it, but she did point out that I probably was (by necessity) not going to get a solid night of sleep until they night-wean, and that they likely aren’t going to night-wean until they aren’t sharing my bed. So, while I know CIO methods aren’t right for us right now, I will certainly keep my mind open toward gentle methods of moving them to their own crib and their own room, even if there may eventually be some (gentle) sobbing on their part. (I explained our horrible experience with CIO-ish stuff, and she agreed that some babies just don’t take to it well, and sometimes they need to be a bit older, and sometimes they never take to it at all, and that the kind of crying that we were dealing with is NOT what most doctors are encouraging when they talk about sleep training stuff. Fussing is one thing, and not always a bad thing, but true crying is counter-productive to encouraging restful sleep. So.)

Of course, she also encouraged me to think about expanding my family further once the boys were a year old, but only because I admitted to her that in a perfect world, I would have wanted a larger family. It brings up a lot of complicated things for me. Many of my bloggy buddies are either having their second or are beginning to think about trying to conceive their second, third, etc. I know how lucky I am to have the two that I have. I know how lucky I am to even have the embryos on ice to consider. I know that my (relatively) easily-attained (relatively) problem-free 38-week twin pregnancy may very well have been a fluke, but the truth is, I loved being pregnant. I mean, I really, really loved it. And I would really love to have more children. But I also know that twins add such a special twist to family dynamics that I’m not even sure I’d want to bring another child into our family, even if we could afford it (and we most surely can’t. We really, really can’t.). Of course, there’s also the longing for a girl baby, too, but luckily, there are plenty of people in the world that I’m close to that have girls, so I can live vicariously through them (apologies to my friend– you know who you are– who is expecting a girl soon… pink and frills and sparkles and hearts abound, and I’m afraid H will lose his mind if I dress the boys in them, so, you know. You’ll just have to take these clothes off my hands for your sweet little one…). If I were ten years younger, and had 2x the salary we currently have, and had a bigger house, and were considerably closer to family, and wouldn’t have to use FET (with dreaded PIO shots… ugh.), I would push H for another child. But since I don’t have a time machine or magic money machine or bigger house or private jet to get closer to family, nor magic fertility machine, we stay quite happily where we are with the two gifts we have.

Anyhow, all of that to say that it’s hard to read about expanding families when I know mine is pretty much done. And that I’m thinking more and more about acting as a gestational surrogate and also donating our leftover embryos (separate actions, of course…). I don’t know enough about it right now to make any serious claim of movement in that direction, and sadly, with my 35th birthday coming this year, I’m probably too old to even be considered as a surrogate, but– I know how incredible it was to be able to grow my family through the miracles of ART, and I would love to help others do the same. I loved being pregnant, and I know that for more reasons than I can even fully explain, it’s just not in the cards for us to expand our family. Sigh.

So. From doctor appointment to surrogacy in four short paragraphs. What’s up with you??

Here we are with photos. I encourage you to click over to my Flickr site to check out more photos, since, because I’m doing nine (okay, eight) bleepin’ days at once, I’m only going to post the highlights.

Day Fifteen:
Henry
Henry. Ugh, I LOVE his expressions! He has the most expressive face, I swear.

Mama's Glasses
Jack steals my glasses…

Day Sixteen (aka EIGHT MONTHS!):
More photos from this day coming whenever I manage to finish the Eight Month update (hey, hopefully sometime before they are nine months old!)…

Sunny Boy
Jack, my sunbeam baby.

Laughing Henry
Henry, laughing at Jack while shredding newspaper.

Day Seventeen:
Jack
Back in the bathtub. Jack is so funny! He climbs everywhere, even in the bathtub (I really need to get a pad thingy for the faucet and some non-slip thingers for the bottom of the tub…).

Henry and His Ducky
Henny chews on the ducky.

Day Eighteen:

Chub-chub Cheeks!
Jacky ChubChubCheeks

Plank
Henry, the Pilates Plank master.

Day Nineteen:
Grumps
Saturday Morning Grumpus-Rumpus (aka Jack)

Henry
Henry reaching for whatever’s in the middle of the table, just out of reach.

Day Twenty:
Valentine
Henry chewing on the Valentine card Grandma and Grandpa sent.

Looking For Trouble
Jack trying desperately to break in to the cabinet in the playroom (nothing of consequence in there– an old swaddling blanket and a box, I think).

Day Twenty-One:
Chew And Climb
Henry chews on his jingle bells (note the short sleeves. Outdoors. In February!).

Jack At The Park
Eating leaves. And grass. And dirt.

Day Twenty-Two:
Henny
Henry with his frog bowl.

Laughing At Papa
Jack laughing at Papa.

Twinkies
Think they’re related???

Day Twenty-Three:

GIANT FAIL! No photos on day 23.

Day Twenty-Four:
Professor Jack
Jack examines his music table toy, one of the few he hasn’t yet figured out (and thus, is still interested in…)

Henry Claps
Happy baby claps! I love Henry’s cheese eatin’ grin!

And so. Here we are with four days left in the month. I’ve only missed two days so far, though this photo-a-day thing is definitely starting to become a chore. I am so glad I started it, because they’ve already changed so much, even in the just-over-three weeks since the beginning of the month. It’s been interesting, but it’s not something I can keep up long-term, that’s for sure. Anyway, there you have it– four more days to go!

I spent the better part of this last weekend getting items ready to sell at a local consignment sale (items that had been picked through by friends already or were gifts/hand-me-downs from others that were seasonally/size mismatched for the ones I know who are expecting…). It was a LOT of work. I seriously doubt that the money I make from this will even begin to compensate for the time spent organizing everything. But the space I gained from ditching the old stuff is so worth it. I am really looking forward to going tomorrow myself to see what stuff we can find– specifically, I’m looking for toys that encourage the boys to stand and/or are appropriate for slightly older babies. I’m also looking for a double umbrella stroller, if I can find one, and maybe some summer clothes, too. We’ll see, we’ll see. Is it weird that I’m totally excited about this sale? Not much going on in my life, really.

So. That’s what I’ve got to say. What about you? Ever had any great consignment finds? Anything exciting with your weekend??

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7 Responses to Days Fifteen Through Twenty-Four

  1. Brandy says:

    Wow, tons of info! I just have to say your babies are freaking adorable. I know I’ve said it before, but they are. I’ve been thinking about the donor embryo thing lately. We’ve got one on ice, and I don’t think I have it in me to do another IVF cycle, after two failed ones. I’m contemplating combining our lone embryo with some donor embryos and seeing what happens. It’s at least a year off if we do it though…

  2. Tara (TIMO) says:

    Where to begin… the boys are looking adorable as always! I love seeing how they’ve grown over the past month. I was glad to read what your doctor said about CIO. We’ve gotten to the point with Benjamin that we don’t even mention his sleeping issues to anyone, even his Pediatrician. They never give any helpful advice beyond CIO and he’s just not ready (at almost 16m!) and we’re not going to let him suffer. I hope the meds offer you some relief.

    I feel similarly about expanding our family. We’re “2 and through” but there’s still that wanting for another. I never thought I’d have only 1 pregnancy. Like you, I loved being pregnant. And I truly never thought I’d parent only boys. My mental image always had a little girl in it. Tomboy like me, but still a girl. And even though my boys were spontaneous, there are still the IF issues. Plus Nav is adamant about our family being complete.

    Our MoMs sale is next Saturday. I’m scrambling to find the time to tag and price everything to sell. I’m ready to have that space in our closets and garage back. And we can definitely use the cash. If you work a 2.5h shift, they only take 10%. If not, then it’s 20%. You can’t beat that around here. It’s been tough seeing all of their tiny clothes. How were they ever that small? If we could, I think we’d keep them all. I think I’m going to take a picture of everything all laid out. Just for the memories.

  3. strongblonde says:

    1. so. B and i were just talking last night about how bedtime/nighttime is so different now. we were remembering how we used to jump up at the smallest sound. we didn’t ever let them even fuss for a second. i have no idea why we did that. they are so much better now and able to self soothe. life is so much different.

    2. as you know, we’ve been thinking a lot about the FET/frozen embryos that we have, too. i go back and forth about it. i always thought that i just wanted two kids. but now? i feel “funny” about having them and not using them. but i feel like it is not financially responsible of me to have additional kids. or at least that is how i feel right now. not to mention there is no place to put anyone else in my current house and we would never be able to sell it…. but i do think about their little “siblings” who are in storage.
    3. thx for the advice on the bday gifts. i ran yesterday for the first time in two years and thought about you. i was only able to do intervals of 1 minute walking and 2 minutes running for 30 min, but it was at least a start. i’m totally feeling it in my legs, today, though 🙂
    4. adorable pics as always. you have the cutest kids!!

  4. JJ says:

    Goodness, they are just so full of CUTE!

    There are some great consignment sales coming up over in this area–email me and we can chat about them if ya want–I love getting Omans stuff from consignment. And WOW it is hard to get things ready to sell at one–its time consuming, huh?

  5. Amy says:

    No way! I got vic.odin for my back today, too! I’m too scared to take it though, so far, since I’m here alone and I’ve become a complete weiner when it comes to substances (half a glass of wine and I’m totally relaxed, a full one and I’m giddy). Back pain sucks. Hope you’re able to get some rest and relief!

  6. Star says:

    Just wanted to give you some hope on the night weaning … Reed slept with us until he was 18 months old, but had night weaned himself by, like, 10-11 months or so. Of course, he never did wake up as much as your little guys do, but I still think it’s definitely possible that they will start to lengthen out their sleep as they get older without you having to do anything!

  7. Ellen K. says:

    We don’t have any embryos on ice, and honestly I am relieved that it worked out this way. I love my brothers, who are identical twins, but I felt very much like a third wheel, esp. because we are only 18 mo apart and are different sexes in a pretty traditional family. They do have that mythical twin bond. And now they will have children who are just 6 weeks apart. In high school they were better-looking, more popular, smart but not nerdy, funny, and athletic. I’m the late-blooming older sister. D. thinks that their twinship has been a huge confidence booster: they always have a wingman. He is pretty envious, actually, and was relieved that we didn’t have twin boys because he gets tired of hearing my relatives make a fuss over my brothers! However, my brothers looked really upset when I mentioned that I didn’t want any more kids because I had felt left out. And I think it would have been different if they had been fraternal twins. Maybe one of them would have been geeky like me, LOL.

    I did love being pregnant, but I know it wouldn’t be as fun the next time around — I would have less time to take care of myself and definitely no time to nap! We no longer have $14K to gamble with, and motherhood has been hard enough without dealing with infertility/”naturally” TTC again. Also, being a 2-kid family works well: we don’t need a bigger house with more bedrooms, we don’t need bigger vehicles, etc.

    But sometimes I linger in the infant clothing section…

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