What’s that thing the road to hell is paved with? Ah, yes. My best intentions to blog more frequently. Instead, I’m apparently going to attempt to post nine days worth of photos in one post, because I simply haven’t had the time to slow down and write a post over here. I really don’t know where many of you guys find the time to post such awesome stuff (by ‘awesome’, I do mean truly awesome writing, but at this point, any string of cohesive thoughts also qualifies as ‘awesome’ in my book!).
The boys are sleeping better, but then worse, but then better, but then not napping reliably. Which means that when they do nap, I’m playing catch-up, either with chores or with sleep. I’m also a masochist, apparently, and have started using cloth diapers again, at least during the day, which means that laundry has expanded again as well. But it’s just soooo much cheaper, and soooo much better for the landfill to use cloth. So, we’re trying again, especially since I’ve got a TON of AIO diapers that were gifted to me in the size that the boys are currently in. It just doesn’t make sense to do otherwise. I’m also using gDiapers as well, since H has some bizarre issue with cloth. Even though it’s much easier to velcro on an AIO diaper, he finds it better to use a gDiaper with disposable liner. Even though they sometimes leak, especially on Henry. Even though you then still have to wash the cover. Ah, well. Whatever. I use cloth during the day, and H uses disposables when he changes them. If it works, I roll with it for the time being.
In short, to follow up on my prior post, I saw my awesome doctor, who is still awesome, even after coming back from maternity leave for her third naturally-conceived-after-thirty-eight baby. She’s just such an awesome person, so intuitive, and not pushy, and informed, and educated, etc. Everything you want in a doctor, she is. Anyhow, we talked about the various options, and for now, the solution is vico.din. It does double (well, triple) duty: 1) relieves back pain, 2) helps me sleep… and 3) kinda knocks the boys out a bit after I’ve taken it.
Yes, that was me just admitting that I drug my children via breastmilk.
According to my doc, it gets into the breastmilk in such modest amounts that it’s not really of concern, nor is it of any detriment to them, either. Considering that I spent the last trimester of my pregnancy surviving daily migraines with the help of vi.codin, I’m not especially worried about what it may do to them. So, I sleep, they sleep (though it’s certainly not the knock-out for them that it is for me…), and my back doesn’t hurt as much.
My doctor commiserated with me over the inevitability of the back pain, understood that clearly, I cannot quit caring for my children, cannot just quit picking them up or quit nursing them. She did encourage me to consider retrying a Ferber or other cry-and-check method of sleep training once the boys are a bit older, but told me that she completely understood my decision to co-sleep at this point. She certainly wasn’t pushy about it, but she did point out that I probably was (by necessity) not going to get a solid night of sleep until they night-wean, and that they likely aren’t going to night-wean until they aren’t sharing my bed. So, while I know CIO methods aren’t right for us right now, I will certainly keep my mind open toward gentle methods of moving them to their own crib and their own room, even if there may eventually be some (gentle) sobbing on their part. (I explained our horrible experience with CIO-ish stuff, and she agreed that some babies just don’t take to it well, and sometimes they need to be a bit older, and sometimes they never take to it at all, and that the kind of crying that we were dealing with is NOT what most doctors are encouraging when they talk about sleep training stuff. Fussing is one thing, and not always a bad thing, but true crying is counter-productive to encouraging restful sleep. So.)
Of course, she also encouraged me to think about expanding my family further once the boys were a year old, but only because I admitted to her that in a perfect world, I would have wanted a larger family. It brings up a lot of complicated things for me. Many of my bloggy buddies are either having their second or are beginning to think about trying to conceive their second, third, etc. I know how lucky I am to have the two that I have. I know how lucky I am to even have the embryos on ice to consider. I know that my (relatively) easily-attained (relatively) problem-free 38-week twin pregnancy may very well have been a fluke, but the truth is, I loved being pregnant. I mean, I really, really loved it. And I would really love to have more children. But I also know that twins add such a special twist to family dynamics that I’m not even sure I’d want to bring another child into our family, even if we could afford it (and we most surely can’t. We really, really can’t.). Of course, there’s also the longing for a girl baby, too, but luckily, there are plenty of people in the world that I’m close to that have girls, so I can live vicariously through them (apologies to my friend– you know who you are– who is expecting a girl soon… pink and frills and sparkles and hearts abound, and I’m afraid H will lose his mind if I dress the boys in them, so, you know. You’ll just have to take these clothes off my hands for your sweet little one…). If I were ten years younger, and had 2x the salary we currently have, and had a bigger house, and were considerably closer to family, and wouldn’t have to use FET (with dreaded PIO shots… ugh.), I would push H for another child. But since I don’t have a time machine or magic money machine or bigger house or private jet to get closer to family, nor magic fertility machine, we stay quite happily where we are with the two gifts we have.
Anyhow, all of that to say that it’s hard to read about expanding families when I know mine is pretty much done. And that I’m thinking more and more about acting as a gestational surrogate and also donating our leftover embryos (separate actions, of course…). I don’t know enough about it right now to make any serious claim of movement in that direction, and sadly, with my 35th birthday coming this year, I’m probably too old to even be considered as a surrogate, but– I know how incredible it was to be able to grow my family through the miracles of ART, and I would love to help others do the same. I loved being pregnant, and I know that for more reasons than I can even fully explain, it’s just not in the cards for us to expand our family. Sigh.
So. From doctor appointment to surrogacy in four short paragraphs. What’s up with you??
Here we are with photos. I encourage you to click over to my Flickr site to check out more photos, since, because I’m doing nine (okay, eight) bleepin’ days at once, I’m only going to post the highlights.
Day Sixteen (aka EIGHT MONTHS!):
More photos from this day coming whenever I manage to finish the Eight Month update (hey, hopefully sometime before they are nine months old!)…
Back in the bathtub. Jack is so funny! He climbs everywhere, even in the bathtub (I really need to get a pad thingy for the faucet and some non-slip thingers for the bottom of the tub…).
GIANT FAIL! No photos on day 23.
And so. Here we are with four days left in the month. I’ve only missed two days so far, though this photo-a-day thing is definitely starting to become a chore. I am so glad I started it, because they’ve already changed so much, even in the just-over-three weeks since the beginning of the month. It’s been interesting, but it’s not something I can keep up long-term, that’s for sure. Anyway, there you have it– four more days to go!
I spent the better part of this last weekend getting items ready to sell at a local consignment sale (items that had been picked through by friends already or were gifts/hand-me-downs from others that were seasonally/size mismatched for the ones I know who are expecting…). It was a LOT of work. I seriously doubt that the money I make from this will even begin to compensate for the time spent organizing everything. But the space I gained from ditching the old stuff is so worth it. I am really looking forward to going tomorrow myself to see what stuff we can find– specifically, I’m looking for toys that encourage the boys to stand and/or are appropriate for slightly older babies. I’m also looking for a double umbrella stroller, if I can find one, and maybe some summer clothes, too. We’ll see, we’ll see. Is it weird that I’m totally excited about this sale? Not much going on in my life, really.
So. That’s what I’ve got to say. What about you? Ever had any great consignment finds? Anything exciting with your weekend??