Our Story

I realized recently that due to that incident last summer and the resulting privatization/reorganization of this blog (and, let’s face it, the complete inability to spend the time to anonymize/de-whine the archives due to the double “incident” that also arrived last summer!), when new visitors arrive here, they really have no way to learn about our “story”. I know when I find a new blog, I really like to get to know a blogger by reading their story, perusing the archives to get an understanding of how they came to be where they are today. Sometimes it’s fun to just jump in to the middle of a story and follow it forward, but it always makes me feel a little more connected to the writer if I know from whence they came. Additionally, when I was going through treatments, I found it very comforting to read others’ stories of how they went about trying to build a family. It’s heartening to read that others have been through the situations you’ve been through and have come out with humor intact on the other side (regardless of whether that other side is with a babe-in-arms or not…).

So, for my newer readers, or for those who stop by in the future, this is our story. If I leave something unanswered, please feel free to drop me a comment or email me a question, and I’ll be glad to answer.

H (I call him H here obviously for anonymity’s sake, because he has a very unique name which, duh, starts with H…) and I met back in the summer of 2003, courtesy of our mutual friend, Luxzia. We dated for a couple of years, and then, in the spring of 2005, he was offered a job in NC, and I followed him after we got engaged that summer. We intended to marry in December of 2006, but due to some health insurance circumstances (as in, I suddenly didn’t have any after unexpectedly losing my employment mere weeks after moving to NC), we married in November of 2005 (and then went on and had a walk-down-the-aisle and reception in December 2006 as planned, so we got married twice. Sort of.).

We never used birth control, at all, until January of 2006 when I was diagnosed with PCOS (which has been continuously treated with metformin and exercise since that time). The diagnosis came as part of routine bloodwork done by my new doctor, not as part of any infertility work-up. Because we were still planning our December March Down The Aisle, we half-assedly prevented pregnancy with condoms until September or October of that year. We figured that if I was knocked up around that time, I wouldn’t be showing yet at a December wedding (hahahahaha. Silly Kate.). ANYHOW, thus started months of not “not trying”. In Fall of 2007, we started Capital “T” Trying.

And, when nothing had happened by the summer of 2008, I decided to stop trying, and take a different path in our lives. I started taking BCPs in order to prevent pregnancy while I finished my degree, and also to hopefully whip my cycles into better shape. And when I graduated in spring of 2009, I delightedly tossed my pills in the trash right before we headed off on a month-long trip overseas. And I concluded our month-long trip with a giant, bloody-red negative, discovered as we checked in to our hotel for the final nights of our stay. It was probably the most emotional negative I’ve ever had.

Which is why when we returned from that trip, I immediately called the local RE and booked an appointment for the two of us. And in early August of 2009, we finally got our diagnosis, which weirdly ended up having absolutely nothing to do with me (RE went so far as to say that she wouldn’t have believed that I had PCOS were it not for historical bloodwork showing that I had it… hurrah for running and Metfo.rmin!). Despite overcoming PCOS, we found out that we were actually dealing with some fairly substantial male factor issues, which meant straight to IVF/ICSI for us.

And so, in early September 2009, I started lupr.on for our IVF cycle, and in early October 2009, we retrieved 18 eggs, of which 14 were mature, ten of which fertilized, eight of which were still growing on day three and then had two gorgeous blasts that we transferred on day five (and two more great blasts frozen and one additional so-so blast that got frozen because it was in the same batch as one of the good ones…). I saw my first double pink line (faint though it was…) five days past that five day transfer. And the lines got darker, the betas were strong and doubled appropriately, and at our first scan at five weeks pregnant, we saw two little sacs, one with pole, one without. And at our seven-week “graduation” ultrasound, we found two flickering heartbeats.

Thirty-one weeks after that “graduation” ultrasound, I delivered Jack and Henry on June 16, 2010, precisely seven years to the day after H and I first kissed. Jack and Henry are eight and a half months old as of this writing. I stay home with them (have you *seen* how expensive child care can be??). We breastfeed. We co-sleep. We part-time cloth diaper. We’re hippie-ish, and half-assedly practice attachment parenting, but honestly, will try anything that works in our circumstances. We like science. We vaccinate. Um, I can’t think of what other characteristics to share that might identify our parenting tribe alliances, though none of those things we choose to do are done out of any need to ally ourselves with any particular “method” (isn’t it annoying that such things exist? But since I get the occasional email asking those sorts of questions, here it is, in a few short sentences.). Whatever is done is mostly done out of a need to have a few minutes of silence (which is also why I’m okay with the fact that the boys have been in the next room screaming and laughing at a Baby Einstein DVD for the past ten minutes… not every day, but MAN, some days I need a break!).

So, a brief rundown:

June 2003– Met H
Nov 2005/Dec 2006– Married H
Jan 2006– PCOS diagnosis
Sept 2006– stop preventing
Sept 2007–start really, really trying
June 2008-May 2009– taking a break
July 2009– See RE, begin testing
Aug 2009– Male Factor diagnosis
Sept 2009– Start IVF/ICSI cycle
Oct 2009– knocked up, twin pregnancy
June 2010– give birth to twin boys, Jack and Henry
March 2010– Crazier by the day, but still surviving as a SAHM of twins…

So, that’s that. What about you? Do you have a summary “story” post?

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5 Responses to Our Story

  1. Tara (TIMO) says:

    Kate, thanks for taking the time to write this up. I’ve been reading for ???years now and I learned a few new things about you. Such as, how sweet it is that Jack & Henry were born on your & H’s first kiss anniversary.

    I agree that having a bit of the background story helps. I have my timeline as a gadget in my sidebar but you have me thinking about doing a post write up too.

    And thanks for the reminder that I have some Baby Einstein videos to sell at the MoMs sale. I do know how expensive twins can be so those few bucks will certainly help.

  2. Esperanza says:

    Thanks for posting this. I knew bits and pieces of your story, perhaps even the whole thing, but I don’t know if I had a cohesive understanding of it. It must have been so hard to go through the anxiety of IVF. I’m so glad it went so well and now you have your beautiful boys to show for it. Yay!

  3. Angela says:

    What a beautiful story to go with your beautiful boys!

  4. loribeth says:

    You know, I don’t have a summary post. I guess I probably should. My story is in dribs & drabs all over my blog.

  5. strongblonde says:

    seems like only yesterday that i started reading your blog 🙂

    i thought about you this week when i was running. i’m still only on intervals (run 2, walk 1) and still slow….but it’s something. are you running regularly? i’m lucky if i do 2x in a week. i try to do other stuff to mix it up. right now my goal is burning calories, raising my HDL, and getting back into shape. there’s a big race (5k, 8k, 10 mil) in my hometown at the end of august that i was considering training for, but i’m just not sure yet.

    love the toilet story from the previous post, btw. i love how little things like that show that, while mostly unintentional, they are still picking up on things all of the time and learning how to be part of society and be little people, you know? so fun!!

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