Ten Days?

Really? Has it been that long since I posted? What has become of me?

Sorry for the disappearing act, but I had visitors this past week, some of whom were only here for a couple of days (which meant I wasn’t going to waste time on the computer) and the other of whom was my MIL (which meant I really didn’t want to pull up any blog windows at all, lest I be outed).

Here is what has been on my mind:

Good GOD, I’m tired of being fat. Somehow in the last couple of weeks, my belly has gone from poofy-but-mostly-just-skin to poofy-with-a-resolute-layer-of-gelatinous-fat-underneath. It’s probably the absurd amount of sweets I’ve been eating. Or the fact that the boys are starting to nurse ever-so-slightly less. Or that I’ve had help to carry the boys around, which means that I haven’t been running my legs off. And maybe with a touch of PMS-ish bloating. My return to Period Land hasn’t really begun in earnest, but every 5-6 weeks or so, I have some very light bleeding and mild cramping, so I guess it wouldn’t be out of range to have some bloating going on.

Regardless, I went to the local New Balance store and procured a new pair of my favorite ugly 993s (my gosh, but I love paying too much for ugly shoes. See archives for posts re. love of Birkenstocks and Haflingers and Danskos and Keens– basically, if it’s ugly and clunky and costs at least $90 a pair, I’m all over it…) and I am planning on making an appointment to visit the local YWCA next week because whether we really can afford it or not, I’m joining. It’s clear that I’m never going to have the time and freedom to run while at home (I’m an indoor-only runner due to allergy/asthma issues), because the boys know I’m here and they cry, cry, cry, and H, despite my attempts to force him, is unable to take care of them for long periods of time without me. So, running is not going to happen unless I can leave the house, and leaving the house for long periods of time is far easier for everyone if there’s professional child care involved (I guess. We’ve actually still never had a sitter for the boys*.) So, the local YW has child care, an indoor track and a gorgeous swimming pool, and H and I can go there together and work out (together or separately). I think it will do wonders for H to get some exercise. He really needs to do something to clear his head, and even if it’s only half as therapeutic for him as it is for me, it will be so incredibly good for him**.

*So, here is where I would relay a story, but I need to preface this by saying that I’m trying really, really hard to be less judgmental in my story telling, because I don’t think that it serves me or anyone else in my life well. And I know that I can’t relay this without coming across as judgmental, but I really sincerely promise that I feel nowhere near as judgmental about the situation as it sounds. But ANYHOW…

My MIL was here to visit this week, and while I’ve really gotten to where I actually enjoy her company, she has a habit of asking a million questions. I admitted once to my mom that it makes me a little crazy when she does this, and my mom pointed out that perhaps she really is just as inquisitive as that and there was nothing more to it. And she’s probably right. But still, my MIL asks a ton of questions, and many of them begin with, “But I thought you said…”, and it constantly feels like I’m having to explain myself or something that I said, like she’s constantly trying to catch me in a lie or something. It probably isn’t that way, but it’s hard to just have a conversation without constantly thinking that anything I share I’ll have to later defend or explain.

SO, she once brought up the idea that we needed to leave the boys with a sitter so that we could have a night out. And I agree, I do want to be able to have the option of going out without having to worry about the boys. But it was a hard conversation to have, because I was really trying to tiptoe around the fact that my parenting philosophy doesn’t really jive with just forcing the boys to get used to a sitter. It’s partly a generational thing, and partly just that everyone does things differently, but I really, really hated trying to explain why we haven’t had a baby sitter yet. It was like no matter what I said, I sounded like an overly protective mother (my MIL even apropos of nothing said that I could tell the sitter that we had cameras, so I guess I was coming off as though I wouldn’t trust a sitter). But the truth is not that I’m overprotective (I am a little, but not that much…), but rather that I just don’t let the boys cry. And they are dealing with some pretty substantial separation anxiety right now. And there’s also a little pressure to find someone that we like enough that we will want to get to know better by May, because H is going out of town for 4 days in mid-May and I will really need someone to come in for an hour or two here or there to give me a break.

I mentioned that I had let a window of opportunity pass, that it would have been great to have found a sitter early on who the boys liked so that they would be used to them once this phase hit a couple of months ago. And my MIL said more or less that she thought that babies don’t always get what they want, that I should be okay with letting them be upset, and made me feel really bad, like I’m being over indulgent with them. And perhaps that speaks more to my own fear of raising spoiled rotten little assholes, but it really made me question whether or not I’m doing them a disservice by not forcing them to get used to another care taker. I mean, Jack won’t even tolerate being left with H. Sometimes, if he’s in the exact right mood, I can leave him for 30 minutes or so, but there’s no predicting whether the mood will be right or not (Henry’s the same but to the opposite ratio– he’ll mostly be okay with H, but if he’s in that odd mood, he will NOT be comforted by H).

And that’s part of it, too. I know how to handle them. I know exactly how to make them feel better when they’re hurt or sad, and I don’t like letting them cry long enough to give other people the chance to settle them, mostly because when either boy gets truly upset, they just get more and more and more frantic until I step in. I’ve given it time, ten, twenty, as long as thirty minutes before insisting that I be allowed to comfort them, and when they are truly upset, they will. not. stop.

So, an innocent enough conversation spirals out of control (luckily only in my head, really) because I don’t know what to do about having a babysitter or not. My current plan is that I will check out the child care center at the YWCA, and hope that the boys take to it (they will give babies 10 minutes to cry before coming for the parents, which I think is fair). And if that works, perhaps we can hire someone who works there as a sitter on occasion, or that we can hire a different sitter for a few hours while I’m here, or perhaps doing yard work outside or something, so that I can be around to step in if they get truly upset.

So, am I unreasonable to be so uptight about this sitter situation? How have any of you dealt with this?

**I haven’t talked about it much here, though I have alluded to it (or crap, I can’t remember exactly, maybe I’ve brought it up directly, who knows…), but H is dealing with some significant depression. It gets better when we get more sleep***, but it’s still not very well handled. It took a lot of convincing on my part to get him to make an appointment to see someone, specifically a psychiatrist someone who could prescribe something if necessary, and his appointment last fall left him feeling pretty cold about the whole situation. The doctor wanted a month between sessions and thought that his problem was that he needed more sleep, and since with 4 month old (at that time) twins, that wasn’t going to happen, he kind of gave H the impression that he should just man up and deal with it.

I then encouraged him to call this place back and ask about seeing a therapist instead, because they will typically go for more regular appointments and will indulge a bit more in talk therapy, which I think H could have used, especially back then, since my patience for sympathy was running thin and I was having my own GAH-I’M-NEVER-GOING-TO-GET-A-BREAK-EVER issues myself. I was in no place to be the constant prop that H needed (and still needs sometimes). Anyhow, when he called to do so, he was told to make an appointment to discuss his desire to change providers with his original provider. And when he declined to do so, they instead said that he could leave a voice mail for the original provider and that maybe they could discuss the whole thing on the phone. (Seriously? Dude, when someone is in a somewhat fragile mental state and has had a disappointing/disheartening encounter with a provider, do you force them to confront the provider and say, “gosh, you’re a shitty shrink. I need someone who gives a flying crap about my situation, and you’re not doing it. Connect me with one of your colleagues who has a heart, please.”? I mean, really!)

So, the end result is that he has promised a number of times to find a different person at a different practice, but he hasn’t done so. Despite several occasions since then when his depression has gurgled to the surface in ugly ways (being a total prick to me for no reason, being way WAY hyper-sensitive, being prone to anger in situations where it’s not really warranted, crying over things that aren’t even sort-of tear worthy), he has promised to make appointments and has not done so.

But, like I said, as we start to get more sleep, I notice a remarkable difference in his attitude. Perhaps it’s also just the passage of time and the adjustment to the situation helping things along as well, but I think if he were given the opportunity to have a little “alone” time (alone, as in without the boys or even me), especially if that alone time were spent doing something physical, it could do a world of good for helping get his head even more on track. And I think having a place where we could both go to work out, a place with in-house child care especially, is a really, really good idea for BOTH of us, but especially for him.

***I don’t want to jinx it, but sleep has been going okay lately. The ratio of rough nights to good nights is definitely swinging in the right direction. We’ve reconfigured our bedroom again (what is this, the seventh time since June?), and it’s working a little better. As of now, we have two mattresses on the floor side by side (a queen and a full), and I sleep on one with Jack and H sleeps on one with Henry. We are feeding the boys only once a night, and using other methods to get them back to sleep if they wake up at other times (unless those methods really and truly do fail, which doesn’t happen very often). Last night, each boy woke up only once during the hours between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. (they woke up on separate occasions though…). I nursed them again at 6 a.m., and they both went back to sleep for a while.

I don’t know what to attribute this to, but it could be a number of things. One, that I’m taking vic.odin, which probably makes them a bit drowsy, though the other night when I didn’t take any, there wasn’t a noticeable difference in their sleep. Two, they’re getting older, which makes a difference I think. Three, since I’m taking the vi.codin, my back pain has actually abated enough that I’m able to go back to sleep between wakings, which means that I’m not tossing and turning and waking them up, nor am I noticing every single sniff and grunt and thus I’m not reacting to those noises. Four, we’ve let their bedtime go a little later and they’ve also been getting better naps, so their long stretch of sleep is happening a little later.

I don’t quite count this as a victory yet, but I’m just appreciating it for what it is, which is yet another baby step in the right direction.

I won’t ask about sleep issues and how they’ve been resolved because I can recognize dead-horse-beating when I see it, but I will ask what small victories you might have to share. I commented previously on Esperanza’s blog saying that I felt like we didn’t talk enough about how awesome we are as mothers and women, and she (in her kick-ass way) decided to try a new theme for her “Paint by Weekdays” Tuesday post wherein she shares (and encourages others to share) ways in which they have rocked their own world lately. So, in a similar vein, I’m asking here if you have any small victories from this past week to share with me. You see mine: babies sleeping at least a little better. What about you?

And last thing… If you’ve read this far, here’s a little picture from Oma’s recent visit to reward your dedication:

Mama, Papa and Boys
Mama with Jack and Papa with Henry on our sunny Saturday in the park

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20 Responses to Ten Days?

  1. Esperanza says:

    Wow Kate, you’re gone for ten days and then you come back with this! Nice!

    So many things to say! First of all, I’m glad you like Tootin’ my own horn Tuesdays! Thanks for the inspiration. I’m already writing this weeks post in my head!

    As for MILs, they are so rough sometimes. Even when you have a good one that you get along with, it’s never easy. Mine has been doing this thing lately where she talks about “her baby”. Like, oh, “you’re not going to send my baby to KinderCare.” Or, “I couldn’t heat up food for my baby in that dirty microwave” (which she then cleaned). It drives me INSANE! Usually it’s about how she won’t do something for “her baby” because it would be neglectful or horrible, but of course I would do it to “my baby” (BECAUSE SHE IS MY BABY) because I guess I’m neglectful and horrible. It’s the worst.

    I have to admit, I can’t imagine what it’s like to parent in a way that is different from most people. I feel like attachment parenting is kind of like that, I have not met nearly as many attachment parenters as not-attachment parenters. I’m sure you must get shit from people all the time.

    And I also have to admit, I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t do it with one baby let alone two. You are seriously hard core.

    I also think that your style of parenting is kind of hard on you. It puts the onus squarely on you to take care of the boys, and while I understand your reasons (you know how to respond to them, you don’t want them to be upset, when they are upset there is no consoling them) I do worry that you are going to wear yourself out or burn yourself out or physically hurt yourself and then you’ll be truly screwed. I would think about trying to find ways to help them be comfortable with others (at least more with H) at least for short periods of time, otherwise you’ll be up shit creek without a paddle if something unexpected happens to you. Even just throwing out your back or getting a bad flu would be devastating if they boys couldn’t be with someone else for a little while.

    Of course, only you know what your boys are capable of. But sometimes, they can surprise you if you try something out. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. I think the YMCA thing is a great start.

    I hope that you figure something out for exercise. I’m with you on the hating being fat thing. Man, I’ve only gained weight since I stopped breastfeeding and I feel like shit. It sucks. Now my 10s are getting tight and my 8s can’t even clear my hips. I’m trying hard to make changes but I’m so worried about dieting and going back to my old habits/attitudes about weight loss that I’m very cautious, perhaps too caution. We’ll see what I figure out.

  2. Nice post, Kate:)
    I think you are doing a great job. I have had a hard time giving up Isobel to someone else to soothe, and sometimes I am over controlling with S and try to tell her what to do, but many others have found ways to calm Isobel so I know I’m not the only answer! Which doesn’t help you of course. But you have figured a way that works and I can understand why you wouldn’t want to circumvent that.
    Isn’t one of the basic tenets of AP that you give your babies absolute security and comfort so that when they are ready they feel comfortable venturing out? Sounds like you are doing that. It’s interesting about the idea that the boys ( and babies in general) need to experience frustration etc. I remember my sister saying that to me about her baby – and it was around separation anxiety too. She would just hand me her baby
    and leave the room and expect that the baby
    would eventually adapt – which she did. Not
    sure if it’s a sound theory.
    But I do think the YWCA sounds like an excellent plan all around. You owe it to all of
    your family – esp you! I think this might be a
    great segway into new and different caregiver
    experiences for the boys.
    So sorry about H’s depression. The way he was treated sounds bizarre. Usually people see a psychiatrist once a month to once every few months for medication maintenance and a therapist more regularly for talk therapy. Any psychiatrist that I suggests a patient should “man up” instead of taking sx seriously is a nincompoop!
    I hope he gets what he needs – which is hard to ask for when you feel down!!
    And I love all those shoes that you mention – though I don’t think of them as ugly!
    Take care and come back soon
    As for MILs – mine is 83 and in a nursing home and awfully sweet and funny and we don’t see her very often – I think that’s the kind of MIL to really appreciate!!! I would hate to be second guessed – or to feel like that’s happening.
    As for a small victory – I guess it’s sleep here too. More naps, more of my ability to recognize when she’s tired and needs help getting to sleep and a gloriously earlier bedtime which at last gives me a couple of hours with two hands most nights. Who wudda thunk it?!!!

    • Heh, I shouldn’t have called those shoes ugly– I LOVE them! I just laugh at myself for constantly being drawn to the orthopedic style shoes. What can I say, I’m a sucker for comfort!

  3. Amy says:

    Sigh. I know you’re not a phone person (I’m not, either) but I wish we lived near each other because our lived seem to run a bizarre parallel, down to the vic.odin for back pain, sleep issues, depressed partners, out of control candy eating (I take to my bed with peanut butter cups and Weeds on Netflux every night), and mil issues. I haven’t been blogging because of my “situation,” but maybe I’ll get around to shooting you an email…anyway, you guys are adorable and I think you’re doing a great job with everything! Hope to talk to you soon.

  4. loribeth says:

    The Y sounds like an excellent idea. : ) I always hate dragging myself out for a walk, but it’s amazing how much better I feel (& how much better I sleep) when I do.

    Re: your MIL — I know H. is from a German background — not sure whether your MIL was born there — but I’m wondering if language & cultural differences might have some bearing here, on how she’s expressing herself & how you’re interpreting her comments? I know with my Italian inlaws, it took awhile for me to get used to the, ahem, different way they express themselves. I used to think they were always angry, because they’d be yelling at each other in Italian. It took awhile for me to realize (with some explaining & interpretation of what was actually being said by dh) that that’s just the way they talk when they all get together.

    For example, dh’s dad & uncle were at our house painting just before we moved in. And they were talking to each other as they painted, their voices getting louder & louder, & I had myself totally convinced they were talking about us & the house, & that they didn’t like it. Dh later told me they were gossiping about one of their friends. ; )

  5. Brandy says:

    That’s a weird situation with the psychiatrist. I’m actually going to see mine today. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist, the therapist more. Maybe he could look at a different practice? I’ve been trying to get my husband to see someone for years because of his anxiety, but he just doesn’t want to and I don’t want to force him.

  6. Ellen K. says:

    VERY glad you’re getting a little more sleep!

    I think first-time dads of multiples have a pretty rough time in the first year or so, when the household is in an “all hands on deck” mentality. Twin dads do get a lot more positive attention from other adults and parents, but they also can feel a bit alienated from guy friends and other dads who may not be pitching in at home as much. (One of D.’s friends has 3 kids under age 7, and he has NEVER given the kids a bath or put them to bed!) D was pretty depressed last summer. He ruled out therapy and antidepressants (citing some weak excuse about employee drug tests, and a rather stronger excuse about his erratic work schedule). So what I did was to tell him that every weekend, he needed to take a morning off to do something that recharges his personal batteries. For example, he loves to bike around the city and ALWAYS is in an excellent mood after several hours of D.-STL time. So far he has only taken me up on this offer about a dozen times, but he seemed to really appreciate the “order” and his mood has improved considerably during the past few months. Also I urged him to take time to get together with his friends and to go to the gym a couple of times each week after the girls are in bed.

    Re: sitters — now is a good time to try the Y childcare. I haven’t had much luck — 10 min is just long enough for a soak in the hot tub, but not for a worthwhile workout, and N. always cries and gets kicked out. But also, it’s a good place to find a sitter who is adept with handling multiple kids. My sitter E.rin works at a gym childcare room.

  7. Tara (TIMO) says:

    I’m glad you’re back. And with such a post.

    When Nav was scheduled to deploy (did you see my post that he’s not going anywhere now?), I researched the heck out of babysitters. My boys have been with no one but me, and occasionally his mom for a few hours, so we knew it wouldn’t be easy for them to get used to a babysitter/stranger but I would need the help when he was gone. I actually found someone with training, experience with multiples and really good rates ($5/hr total for both boys!) but never actually met face-to-face because then the deployment got canceled. I still want to meet her and see if it would work out so that Nav and I could perhaps have a dinner together just the two of us. He is vehemently against that and doesn’t want a stranger watching the boys at all. So we stay home or need to have family helping us out. He has two week-long trips coming up and my sister will coincidentally be here for the first but we have no one for the second. His mom can’t come and my mom won’t come (a whole different story). Now that the boys are sleeping, we’re debating if we need help at all. But then I think of this past week when his mom was here and how much I did not get done (and the zero me time I had and that we in fact did not go out just the two of us as promised) and think that it would be really really nice to have a babysitter on call. Like you, my boys depend on me and I know what works for them. The 2.5h at the MoMs meeting and 3h at the sale were too much for Nav to handle them. All that to say, good luck. It’s not an easy situation. I think getting them used to someone at the Y for short periods of time would be good for them. And then perhaps you could introduce a sitter at home for longer periods.

    My MIL was here and while we get along, she drove me crazy with the hovering. If I was in the kitchen, there she was too. I could barely go to the bathroom without feeling like she was standing outside the door. Oh yes, and the questions, oh the questions. Add in a slight language barrier (her English is getting worse every time we see her) and you have a recipe for annoyance. I got 1.5 things on my to-do list done (backing up our computer was completely passive so does it really even count?). She barely interacts with the boys (it did get better towards the end) and was so negative to them that at times I didn’t want her to play with them. She takes away their toys if they have one tiny argument over who gets to play with it or if she deems them unsafe. At one point, I think every toy but a few of those squishy blocks were gone from their play area. And god forbid, I get involved or give them back their toys. It was not a great week. And their napping is so messed up. She tried and means well but sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the trouble and stress for me when she visits.

    Sorry to hear of H’s depression appearing again. I can’t believe his doctor can get away with that. I think you’re probably right that exercise plus more/better quality sleep would help with the situation. Sounds like the boys’ sleeping is getting better. And as a former sleep-issues blogger and reader, you keep posting all you need. It’s not an easy road and I, for one, understand and commiserate. (Did you see that Benjamin is now sleeping through the night? Hurray!)

  8. Brandy says:

    Oh and another thing I forgot: Eric has been exercising more (i.e. any exercise is more for him) because his company started a health challenge. They were all issued pedometers and they can compete on teams to win money and other things. He and a co-worker compete each week to see who will have to buy the other lunch. Since starting, he has said that his anxiety has gotten noticeably better. So there is something to the exercise bit.

  9. Sue says:

    Only you can decide what’s best for you and your family, but keep in mind that it’s really important to take care of yourself too. Your sons seem to have your husband’s sensitive nature, so I’m sure that makes things all the more challenging. Good luck with the Y – I definitely think that will be a good move for you and H, I just hope the boys can get on board with the plan!

  10. lz says:

    Well… if a pair of boots is $300, complicated with laces and buckles, I’m all about those. We all have our own shoe things – and besides, I think Danskos and Birks are cool looking and some Keens… running shoes aren’t pretty but that isn’t their purpose anyway πŸ™‚

    I’m glad you don’t leave the boys to cry – they are so wonderful and happy and such sweet happy children only come from a home where they are loved and nurtured. I.e., keep doing what you are doing because obviously you are doing a damned good job. My sympathies with talking to the MIL though – J’s mom has already been pressing me about a crib rather than a co-sleeper and I’m dreading them being here next week when I’ll just have to tell her that this is my baby and that’s the way I think it should be.

    Again, thank you for everything during our time at your place. I’ll go in search of coffee later today after the lovely rain disperses a bit….

  11. melissa says:

    mwhahahaha. I didn’t let anyone watch my DD until she was 13 months old? And I had to be sure she was okay by calling at least twice πŸ™‚ Plus the only people who have ever watched her have been my dh’s parents.

    The picture of the four of you is adorable. And should definitely be framed. I hope your dh starts to feel better? That’s a lot on your plate if he isn’t feeling well.

    Woot for the Y!!

  12. Tracy says:

    Gorgeous pic!

    Let’s see…re: H’s depression. Around the same age as your boys are, I realized it was a little more than sleep deprivation and got on anti-depressants. OH MAN did they ever help. Lack of sleep can REALLY pooch a person, and I hope he continues to improve and/or seeks help for everybody’s sake.

    Re: a babysitter – we did have luck with the gym sitters, and one of them sits for us on occasion. My kids love going there, but there was a transition period. I stayed consistent, and yes, there were days we had to flat out leave, but eventually they got it. I hope the same for you. (any spinning classes there????)

    Re: the whole crying thing…I’m not going to offer you any advice. We have differing opinions on the subject, as I know that you know, and that IS OKAY. I cannot give you my thoughts without sounding judgmental of what you are doing, and I would not ever want to do that. In the end, you need to do what YOU feel comfortable doing with YOUR children, and you will figure it out.


  13. PJ says:

    Aghhh! Your MIL! Mine was kind of like that, you know back before the babies were born when we were actually talking, and not just being civil for the sake of the family. Such a long story…

    I think… YOU ARE THE MOM. Period. It’s YOUR family. You do things the way it works for you and H and Jack and Henry.

    Going to overshare…
    But really, what can you do but just kind of roll with it. And that is what I recommend, since I am pretty sure I cussed at my MIL when she was here and I was tired and dealing with a C-section infection and Post-partum depression, and just plain overwhelmed and tired. I think I’ve kind of ruined my relationship with my MIL and that’s no good for anyone.

    On a lighter note, we have a sitter of course, because I work. I was sort of forced to have sitters at the beginning, because all hell broke loose and things were rocky. But in general, we don’t have sitters probably like most people. I think this is mostly because I feel like I don’t get to see them enough as it is. And also because we are poor. πŸ™‚

    My girls have some serious stranger anxiety right now. They basically cry (wail even) whenever anyone else approaches them, aside from myself, my husband, and our sitter. They cried with my parents, my step mother in law and father in law, and any old stranger who appoaches them.

    My small victory is to make it through every damn day and be prepared for the next one. Seriously. Remembering my phone, victory. Getting to work on time, victory. Leaving work at a decent time, victory. Lauren eating enough, victory. Basically, keeping my head above water right now is a major thing. I am sure someday that will get better and I’ll actually be able to do things like, read and watch movies and maybe do home improvement stuff. But right now, my big goal is keeping afloat.

    You sound so busy! Your pictures of the park inspired me to take my girls to our park on Sunday (which was GORGEOUS!), and we discovered we do have those baby swings. They LOVED them! πŸ™‚

  14. PJ says:

    Also, Keen are AWESOME! They make my feet look giant, but I don’t care. I love mine. Am also addicted to Merril.

    Am also poor. Did I mention that?

  15. JJ says:

    First, gorgeous picture of you all!

    I can say that exercises definitely keeps Mook’s mood better πŸ™‚ Not that its a cure-all by any means, but it definitely has helped him.

    Hope we can have a girls outing soon!

  16. strongblonde says:

    love the pic πŸ™‚ and i’m sporting my 12 year old danskos as we speak. lol. they need to be polished again, but they are good enough for work!

    you know i have no advice on MILs. I just don’t get them. i can’t imagine thinking some of the things that come out of their mouths!

    what did i do good this week? i started a few new games with the kiddos! we were all playing and i noticed that they seemed to be running from rug to rug trying to avoid the wood floor like it was hot lava. so we made a little game out of it on monday. they have tried to play it every day since πŸ™‚ what little memories they have!

    we have also started “cleaning”. the kids ask to “kee, kee” and point to the broom closet. i let them play with brooms and this week we started doing “dusting” too πŸ™‚

  17. Hey! Thank you for stopping by my blog. I’ve bookmarked (and google reader subscribed) to yours and am working my way through your posts you wrote right after the boys were born. πŸ™‚ I’ll be following along on your journey!! ANYway, wheeeeeew that is scary on the hospital visit. I’m so happy all is well. And you are AWESOME for coming away with such a positive lesson out of all of this.

    As for small victories. Well, our babies were born teenie teenie tiny. I need to work on letting go of the guilt. But their tummies look big today. Which, even tho I already know this b/c we go to the ped for weigh-ins every 3 days, means they are gaining weight. And THAT is a huge victory for me and my sweet tiny little babes. πŸ™‚


  18. PS I’m sorry, I’m reading your blog and might’ve inserted the scary post about your migraine into my comment on this one. Please blame it on sleep deprivation and not me being a totally wacky/weird new commenter. πŸ™‚

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