So, there’s this dowel rod we use to keep the couch cover tidily tucked in to the back of the loveseat in the playroom. It’s pretty firmly wedged between the seat back and seat bottom of the couch. Never-the-less, the boys have figured out how to fish it out from between the cushions, and ownership of this dowel is a hotly contested thing. Both boys slept just long enough in the 5 minute car ride home from the library today that they refused to go down for a nap when we got home. And so, as I sit on the loveseat typing this, in a room full of fascinating and age-appropriate toys, both boys are standing beside me on the couch, tugging on opposite ends of the dowel and screaming bloody murder at each other, because, “IT’S MINE!” “NO, MINE!” WAAAAAAAAH, I want this random 3 foot long stick and furthermore, I DON’T WANT HIM TO TOUCH IT!

Yeah, boys, it’s gonna be a long, long life for you if you don’t learn to get over that whole “my brother is touching this thing I am also touching and it makes me mad” thing. Really, really long.

This is pretty much the story of my life now, life with one-year-old twins: nap refusals, bickering, arched-back screaming, not-gonna-share-it-EVER-ing, and even occasional biting and smacking.

But, my life is also two babies who want to snuggle pretty much constantly, who, when they aren’t bickering, actually cooperate pretty well (Henny makes a pretty good step stool for Mr. Daredevil Climbing Monkey), who make funny noises, who know it’s funny when they do so, and do it often to make me laugh, and who are generally really delightful creatures to be around. Despite having a constant back ache, and feeling like I’ve been reduced to constant referee status, I so frequently find myself stepping back and noticing how very, very much I love this whole motherhood thing. And I love it in a way I wasn’t so sure I ever would when I first brought the babies home, in those early, hazy, delusionally-exhausting first couple of months. I really wondered often whether this whole kid thing was really such a great idea, whether I was genuinely happier post-kid than I was pre-kid. A year ago, I couldn’t confidently answer that question one way or the other, because DAMN. Life with infant twins is FUCKING HARD.

But. BUT, though it is still hard in all new ways, it is also massively rewarding in all new ways. I just love these boys so much, and love getting the chance to care for them. I think I really can confidently answer the question of happiness now with a resounding YES, I am so much happier now than I was before I had kids. There are things I miss about life pre-kid, but nothing that stands out as more rewarding than the early morning double cuddle that starts my day now.

So scream away, boys. You have to sleep sometime, and until then, I’ll just try to laugh at these new ways you exert your growing individuality.

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7 Responses to Slice

  1. Dude, I so get you. I love this post – and I’m so glad that you are enjoying the fun of kids, too. Babies are grand, but kids ROCK!

  2. PJ says:

    I love this post also! I am RIGHT there with you!!! We have 5,000 toys in the living room and what is really, really fascinating is the door stop which goes “boing” when you thump it, and the air vents on the floor, and the itty bitty tiny pieces of whatever (tree dirt, etc) that are on the carpet even though I vacuum constantly!

    Oh, and I thought the cords to the roman shades were too high up for them to reach, so I hadn’t childproofed them yet. Well, we THINK Addison has swallowed one and are looking for it to come out in her poop. I say “think” because I didn’t actually see her do it, but the pull is gone and I caught her chewing on the end of the string. Such fun! I went a little NUTS when it happened! Am parent of the year. Sigh.

    Mine have started playing tag around the room! It goes, tag, chase, giggle, tag, chase giggle! So funny! And they both want to be in my lap at the same time, and then get mad because the other one is in my lap. You understand, right? 🙂

    I’m LOVING one so much better than the newborn stage! LOVING it!

    So, tell me where you got your guys’ shoes? Striderite? Did you measure them, just with a tape measure? Someone told me to get Robies, but I think I might have to rob a bank to keep them in those. I’m also thinking consignment.

  3. Um, I adore this post. I’m in the throes of it (I think??!) with 3.5 month old twins and it’s just SO ENCOURAGING to hear about how it gets better and better and better. Hard, in new and unimaginable ways, clearly, but also that you love it so much. Awesome post!!! xoxo

  4. shinejil says:

    The first year, even with one. is brutal, unless you have staff. So glad things things are way more fun now. I can only imagine the insanity of two little dudes at once.

  5. Tara (TIMO) says:

    Sounds like so much fun at your house. Wait until it’s wrestlemania all the time. Wrestling because it’s fun. Wrestling because they won’t share. Wrestling because they are trying to share and that’s how it’s done.

    I’m glad you’re able to see the humor in age one.

  6. Ellen K. says:

    I like this post. The first year with twins SUCKS. At SIL’s baby shower the other weekend, an aunt who had twins 22 years ago — she had 4- and 3-year-old girls at the time — told me, for the hundredth time, that all she did was cry for that first year.

    Glad you are having such a good time, dowel disputes and all. It gets even better over the next year or so. I & N fucking ROCK most days. They’re hilarious, and their little twin/sibling ways are so endearing. And I hear you on the happiness. I still think we would have been okay without children — but this is the best outcome of all. D. thinks so, too. We acknowledge it at least once a day.

    : D

  7. Amy says:

    Kate? Everything ok? Just realized we haven’t heard from you in a while…thinking of you!

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